Thursday, December 31, 2015

CNN Article Notes Cosby's Accusers "Had Grown To The Size Of A Choir"

Bill, this particular comment
I hope will somehow reach you:
What a pisser that this isn’t
A choir that you can preach to.


Monday, December 28, 2015

How To End Terrorism

Encourage Isis to move over here and
Make Chicago their home:
Windy City cops would kill them all
Before you finish this poem.

David Spade Says President and First Lady's Frequent TV Appearances Lack "Dignity"

Despite thick skin, both the Obamas must
By now be so hurt
By the dignified guy who co-wrote & also
Starred in “Joe Dirt”

But I doubt we’ll see signs of panic from
Any White House handler
At criticism from a hack who’s become
A wingman for Adam Sandler.

In addition to now being a faded star
For David, the additional curse is
Having talent so small it can fit in one
Of his sister-in-law Kate’s tiny purses.


Thursday, December 24, 2015

Isn't It Time To Talk About The Lower Half Of The Trump Ticket?

Insults about women and minorities
Donald has become fond of hurling:
Wouldn’t a perfect running mate be
Ex-Clippers’ owner Donald Sterling?


Thursday, December 10, 2015

Getting In Touch With My Inner Trump

Europe has lots of anti-Semites:
To fight them, I will dare cut
All immigration by anyone who
Has a skinhead haircut.

Let’s ban anyone with a shaved head ---
They surely want to kill us.
Bye-bye, Jason Statham, see ya, Denzel,
And adios Bruce Willis.

Old school Nazis had plenty of hair, so
With my magic wand
I want to ban anyone being in the U.S.
Whose hair is blonde.

This will soon result in a rather vast and
Seismic cultural shift:
No more Madonna, no more Kristen Bell,
No more Taylor Swift.

Yeah, I know this makes The Donald
Look like quite a Scrooge
But this development could help him
In ways that are huuuge.

His hair’s blonde, so he’d have to leave
Our great country, too,
Yet there are places abroad that would
Share his point of view.

In certain countries, he would be seen as
An audacious winner:
Expect the expat to soon tell all Germans,
“Ich bin ein Berliner.”

Monday, October 26, 2015

The Current State Of The GOP

Republicans, when push
Comes to shove, earn
The reputation of not
Knowing how to govern.

To hell with that: they’re
Far more inclined
To show how much rage
Is on their mind.

Who cares who gets nominated
At their convention?
What they really are in need of
Is an intervention.

Monday, October 19, 2015

Yesterday Was The Birthday Of The Guy Who Shot JFK

Fox News, the internet
And cable TV
Were not around back
In 1963.

One of those things would have
Got him
Long before Lee Harvey Oswald
Shot him.


Thursday, October 8, 2015

Kevin McCarthy Drops Out Of Race For House Speaker

Ever since his Benghazi-Hillary gaffe,
We’ve watched his troubles mount:
He still can’t speak well but it does
Appear that he knows how to count.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Fallout From Kevin McCarthy's Massive Benghazi & Hillary Blunder

House Republicans all of a sudden
Are now not on a roll ---
Instead of doing damage, they’re
Doing damage control.


Saturday, October 3, 2015

During His U.S. Trip, Did Pope Francis Really Have A Private Audience With Kim Davis?

This matter has been cleared up --- true or
False? I’ll give you a hint:
Through a spokesman, the Pontiff basically
Said, “Oh, no you di’int!”


Friday, October 2, 2015

The New McCarthyism Against Majority Leader McCarthy

The poor dumb bastard made
An epic fail of a goof ---
Asked about Benghazi, Kevin
Foolishly told the truth.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Thoughts Before The Second GOP Presidential Debate

The doctor tells Donald Trump, “Don’t worry.
This procedure’s minor. I am a virgin
When it comes to this stuff but I’m very rich
And can figure out being a surgeon.”

“Hold on!” Trump bellows. “I want the best!
How the hell is this possible?”
“Donald, chill. I have a huuuge hedge fund
And we just bought the hospital.”

“If you’re not a real doctor, you’re fired!
This is making me stressful!”
“Don’t be a baby. Like you, I’m all about
Being really successful.”

“Are you listening to a word I’m saying?
Take a hike right now, buddy!”
“Donald, c’mon, don’t be like that --- I’m
Known as a real quick study.”

“That’s not exactly reassuring, pal! I’m
Not going to stop my complaining!”
“Donald, haven’t you ever heard about
The values of on the job training?”

“I don’t care! Get out right this second
And bring in the head resident!”
“OK, but … isn’t this what you’re doing
With your run for President?”

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Some Thoughts About Kim Davis

Elliot Richardson was Nixon’s Attorney General.
Dick felt it was time to fire & outfox
The top lawyer who was looking into Watergate:
Special prosecutor, Archibald Cox.

Richardson told Congress he wouldn’t interfere
And he didn’t feel it was OK
To break his promise and, at the same time, he
Also didn’t wish to disobey

The President. So, he chose jail instead and
In the long run, God save us,
He became a true American hero, not at all
Unlike Kentucky’s Kim Davis!

(Hold on, my bad, I just did some research
And the info that I happened to find
Is Richardson didn’t go to jail --- he did the
Old school right thing and resigned.)

Kim, if you want to only abide by God’s law
(I don't mean to nag or hector)
Go get yourself another gig at a church or
Working in the private sector.

I’m not an Apostolic Christian but I’ve had
Thoughts of miracles offhand
Like you live in a town of 23,000 but are
Pulling in over eighty grand.

With right wing hating and homophobia
Your name is now synonymous:
If you ever leave your church, you should
Start Apostolics Anonymous.


Thursday, August 27, 2015

Some Incoming Duke Freshman Refused To Read "Fun Home" Because It Goes Against Their Core Religious Values

These closed-minded kids have more to fear in
Duke’s class on classics of American Lit:
Eliot was an anti-Semite, Faulkner was a drunk
And Hemingway didn’t like God a bit.

Other classes surely will be along these lines:
Their pursuit of limited knowledge
Would be smoother if they attended a private
Religious university … or college.


Sunday, August 23, 2015

Things To Keep In Mind About How An Attack Was Stopped On A French Train

We hear about how lone terrorists may
Suddenly and violently strike. That
Is true but amateur counter-terrorists
Are just as prepared to strike back.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Thoughts About The November Parole For Jonathan Pollard

Jonathan Pollard was in prison for life
And here is the simple reason why:
He was tried and convicted in 1987
For being an Israeli-American spy.

As an employee of the U.S. Navy
He swiped on Israel’s behalf
Tens of thousands of documents
In only a year and a half.

Other spies who spied for many years
Didn’t get even nearly that much:
Pilfering on such a huge scale suggests
At work Pollard didn’t chat much.

How did he steal so much so fast? He
Did something not tried & true:
I bet he took secrets during his Naval
Intelligence analyst interview.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

In Deposition, Cosby Admitted Paying Women To Keep Affairs Hidden From His Wife

In related news, here’s another update
On this situation ---
Fate slipped Bill some Quaaludes and
Ruined his reputation.

All those who worship massive wealth
Are in great pain today ---
There’s no amount of money than can
Make this scandal go away.


Saturday, July 11, 2015

The Remarkable "Booya!" To Charleston Shooter Dylann Roof

Hated Blacks, found solace in
Extremist internet escapism:
Wanted to start a race war but
Launched a war on racism.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

A Little Backstory On Ken Calvert, The California Lawmaker Behind The Recent GOP Attempt To Save The Confederate Flag

Once in a car in his Golden State district
A hooker had her head in Calvert’s lap.
He told a cop they were “just talking.”
(I would’ve said she was taking a nap.)

That same year, 1993, he was divorced
And accused of alimony he did not pay
And right at that particular point in time
Calvert had an amazing thing to say.

He noted that all of these various events
That had been happening to him lately
Had “helped him become a better person”
And also enabled him “to mature greatly.”

Frequenting hookers & not paying alimony
I bet most sensible people would be loath
To regard as reliable paths to take when
One becomes focused on personal growth.

This sundae isn’t really in need of a cherry but
There is one that I would like to place:
From the House floor, Calvert criticized Clinton
For his affair with Monica Whatsherface.

Friday, June 26, 2015

That Was The Week That Was (2015 Edition)

Obamacare Survives! Gay Marriage Passes!
(Some feared they might wind up in a deadlock.)
The Confederacy Gets Kicked To The Curb!
Bristol Palin Is Preggers Again Out Of Wedlock!

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Word Up! D To The Y To The L To The A To The Double N!

Yo yo! My man! You --- with haste --- swore
That you wanted nothing less than a race war.

Are you just another white trash ignoramus?
Hell, no! In a bright flash, you’re famous!

It sounds like absolute and total bliss to me
What with your now being a part of history.

(The only downside is that some haters will nag
That you pretty much killed the Confederate flag.

I’d bet your Obama-loving jailers block news
That you oughta now be getting from Fox News.

Sorry to say that all of this is as bad as it sounds ---
No more Stars and Bars on SC state house grounds.

Insult to injury, this bold move by Haley, Nikki
Looks like it may even spread over to Mississippi

And even to some other Southern states, too,
And all this pro-Yankee stuff is cause of you.

Yeah, it ain’t right, but who could have guessed so
Much could go so wrong with your little manifesto?

Prison’s gonna be hard ‘cause right out of the gate you
Amazingly found a way to make fellow racists hate you.

Who knows what may explode when you cause sparks?
You’re now kinda like the anti-Confederate Rosa Parks.)

Monday, June 22, 2015

White Supremacist Leader Name-checked In Dylann Roof Manifesto Gave Thousands To Republicans, Including Several White House Candidates

Earl Holt runs the “Council of Conservative Citizens.”
When I see a benign name like that, my view
Is the group should be called something more honest
Like, “I Hate All Blacks And You Should, Too.”

Sunday, June 21, 2015

The GOP In 2015

Watch me cut through all
Of the clatter ---
Black Lives? Not so much:
White Guns Matter.

Friday, June 19, 2015

GOP Contenders Insist South Carolina Shootings Were An Attack On Faith

Really? That’s like a contrarian who
Amazingly wants to have debates
That 9-11 was only anti-skyscraper,
Not an attack on the United States.

The Charleston Shootings (Vol. #2)

Dylann Roof’s dad bought him the gun he used ---
Each one of them is a total piece of refuse.
Pop, you should’ve gotten him an Xbox so no one 
Would’ve gotten hurt during his meth use.

The Charleston Shootings (Vol. #1)

Without access to weapons, Dylann Roof

(I know it isn’t fair, but)

Is merely another sick, homely white loser

With a really bad haircut.

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Updating Langston Hughes' "Dream Variations"

Rest at pale evening …
A tall, slim tree …
Night coming tenderly
Dolezal like me.

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

This Just In From The Hoosier State

The Mayor of South Bend comes out.
Anti-LGBT Gov. Mike Pence is thinking
He better do something fast to keep
Gay cooties out of what he’s drinking.

Monday, June 1, 2015

Fallout From The Hastert Scandal In The 2016 Presidential Race

I’m not saying that everything about him is
Completely suspicious and totally shady
But is it wise to make a White House bid if
He could win and be his own First Lady?…/lindsey-graham-expected-to…/

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Those Recent Rumors Swirling Around Former Speaker Hastert

It seems that some people (actually, many)
Are actively attempting to deny Denny

His rightful accolades --- he’s beyond reproach.
He wasn’t some touchy-feely wrestling coach.

What? He was? OK … that may generate some fears
But I would bet he only did that for a couple of years.

Really? For around a decade and a half? So
It would appear here that I’m the last to know.

Alright, but there would have been more doubts
If he had been involved with the Boy Scouts.

Not that, too? Oh, jeez. The only thing that could eclipse
All this is if he took Boy Scouts on out of town trips.

I’d bet the ranch he didn’t: c’mon! He did? He fooled everyone.
The only person happy to hear this is the Duggar’s oldest son.

The simple message that I can pass along with impunity?
No one’s more suspicious than “a pillar of the community.”…/…/politics/hastert-indictment.html…

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Thursday, May 21, 2015

The Final Scorecard On Letterman vs. Leno

To late-night heights
These two men hiked:
Dave wound up beloved
Jay wound up beliked.…/…/2013/11/Leno-and-Letterman.jpg

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Dear Texas,

The cat’s out of the bag and the reality
Will hit you like hundreds of tons.
Everything you feared is coming true:
Yankees are coming for your guns!

We want to take all of your rifles and
Then we’ll grab your pistols
And if you like to tweek, we’ll sneak
Off with your meth crystals.

We’ll take possession of your barbeque
As we’ll playfully put “y’alls”
Into our conversation --- did I mention
Swiping your favorite footballs?

We’ll commandeer your beer and as
We commence to hiccup
Will decide that we oughta hotwire
And speed off in your pickup.

We’ll replace your Toby Keith CDs
With ones done by Enya.
God bless Barack Hussein Obama
Who was born in Kenya!…/chuck-norris-jade-helm-15


Monday, May 4, 2015

Santorum Says We Should Love And Accept Jenner

This sounds compassionate but isn’t. Let’s get real ---
C'mon, Rick's enough of a smarty
To do this because Bruce came out as a conservative
Member of the Republican Party.

The other reason that former Senator Santorum has
Decided not to keep a lid
On his reaction to Jenner is that he’s likely to make
Another presidential bid.

Cutting to the chase, Rick hopes
To engender hope
When attempting to corner the
Transgender vote.

Rick, you and compassion are a bad mix. A great
Many people would be quite clear it
Doesn’t work. Emimen could join a barbershop
Quartet but who’d want to hear it?

Hold on: you clarified your comments. You didn’t mean
A policy change, just sympathy for Bruce.
Phew! Thank God there isn’t a warm and fuzzy Santorum
Really out in the world and running loose.…/santorum-clarifies-surprising-remark…


Friday, May 1, 2015

Christie Crony Claims The GWB Closing Was Retaliation Against An Uncooperative Mayor

Brainy --- but doughy --- nerd boy David Wildstein
Is now officially Christie’s nemesis:
His testimony will insure the Governor won’t ever
Live on The White House premises.

The insult to injury irking Christie the most that
Bridge-gate fanatics can’t dismiss is
That Wildstein in the interim lost lots of weight
And is now far thinner than Chris is.…/christie-ally-expected-to-plead-gu…


Wednesday, April 29, 2015

A Change In The Landscape

I have a Facebook pal in England.
What I’d recently done
Was send John this piece I wrote
About my autistic son.

After doing this, I suddenly felt
My anxiety increase.
I thought, “Hold on: why did I
Email him that piece?”

We usually just send each other poems
And his are invariably great. To
My dismay, I suddenly thought this was
Something he wouldn’t relate to.

Well, it turns out that John’s daughter
Recently made it clear
That working with autistic children is
Going to be her career.


Autism once was something I would mention
Which as details unfurled
Would set me apart from friends and strangers
And the rest of the world.

But the condition’s ubiquity now has
Altered that situation:
Everybody knows somebody who is
Part of this population.

The unavoidable connections manage to make
Me feel anything but forsaken.
Here’s your six degrees of separation update:
Autism is the new Kevin Bacon.


Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Were Baltimore High School Students Thinking About A Movie That Imagines A Temporary Suspenion Of All Laws?

It’s unclear how true this allegation is but
Turn on your TV
And you can now get an exclusive preview
Of “The Purge 3.”

Monday, April 20, 2015

California Almond Growers Use More Water Than Is Used Indoors By 39 Million Californians

Growers aren’t reducing their usage but for everyone else,
There’s no ducking cuts:
Californians who know this and keep on buying almonds?
Call them fucking nuts.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Hacked Emails Reveal Affleck Pressured PBS Not To Mention An Ancestor Had Slaves

So, was this star’s request ill-advised?
My answer? I won’t postpone it:
Ben --- with regard to you and slaves,
The best thing to do is just own it.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Robert Kennedy Jr. Apologizes For Comparing Autism Vaccine Effects To The "Holocaust"

Mister Kennedy, hold on, I’m just thinking out loud here:
Do you
Realize that Jenny McCarthy now sounds less crazy than
You do?…/la-me-pc-robert-kennedy-jr-apologi…

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Four Blackwater Contractors Get Prison Terms For 2007 Massacre In Baghdad

If they had murdered Blacks in the Midwest
Instead of Arabs the Mideast
Their chance to have beaten this rap would
Have very greatly increased.…/former-blackwater-guards-sente…


Unarmed Black Man Killed By White Reserve Sheriff Who Mistook His Handgun For His Taser

Being Black in America has always been hard starting
With slavery & then later dealing with the Klan
But there was a certain simplicity ages ago in how it
Came down to being messed with by The Man.

Now it’s more complex and there are additional forces
That will wind up tending to be
Trickier, like attacks by guys who aren’t really The Man
But are merely pretending to be.…/deputy-who-killed-man-after-mist…/


Monday, April 13, 2015

Turkey Is Furious That The Pope Called The Armenian Genocide A "Genocide"

What word would they have preferred?
I imagine they’d like if it he went
Another way with this thought and had
Just called it a “disagreement.”

Or, hold on --- here’s another way to go:
Instead of the g-word, mention
That back in 1915, their nations did have
A little bit of “dissension.”

Better still, Turkey would not feel that anyone
At all wronged their dominion
If the Pope suggested they and Armenia once
Had a “difference of opinion.”

Besides, does no Turkey official realize
No matter how hard anyone may try
That we often tend to be those things
Which we most vehemently deny?…/world/2015/04/12/pope-a…/25667197/


Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Monday, March 30, 2015

Indiana Governor Keeps His State In The Hot Seat

A defensive Gov. Pence tried to reframe
His controversial legislation
As actually being about tolerance & not
At all about discrimination.

It won’t fly: the burgeoning backlash has
Already kicked him card:
That’s why he’s now having to resort to
Playing the victim card.…/mike-pence-indiana-anti-lgbt-religiou…/

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Game-Changer With Cruz Running For The White House

We have a President from Kenya.
Ted can now be the man of the
Moment by being the very first
U.S. leader born in Canada.

Friday, March 20, 2015

Trump Forms Exploratory Committee To Make 2016 White House Run

It’s as newsworthy as saying that inmates
Make up the most people at Sing Sing
Or that amateur clowns often attend the
Clown college sponsored by Ringling.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Missouri Lt. Governor Claims The Justice Department Is Racist, Not St. Louis

Peter Kinder’s remarks are both ignorant & wrong
And here’s the simple reason why:
They have all the gravitas of that childhood taunt,
“I know you are but what am I?”

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

GOP Lawmaker Aaron Shock --- Besieged With “Downton Abbey" Decorating & Ethics Questions --- Resigns

I’m sure for friends and supporters his quitting
Was a terribly difficult and painful thing to see.
The worst day in Shock’s life? (No, that was when
Matthew Crawley died at the end of season three.)…/aaron-schock-resigns-congres…/story…


Satan Weighs In On Arkansas Lawmaker Who “Rehomed” Adoptive Girls To A Man Who Raped One Of Them

“Justin Harris claims these two were possessed.
Spoiler alert: they weren’t. Hubba hubba!
I am so proud of this Bible-thumping Republican.
He ain’t heavy --- he’s my Beelzebubba.”…/rep-justin-harris-was-eligible-fo…


Sunday, March 15, 2015

McConnell Threatens To Delay Lynch Vote

Blacks in Kentucky were once routinely strung up but now
The GOP has new priorities
And postponing these kinds of killings shows they really are
Now reaching out to minorities.

Hold on … wait … oh jeez … it appears that I got
A fact wrong here. OK, I’ll make that several ---
McConnell didn’t mean an actual lynching, just
Loretta Lynch’s nomination for attorney general.…/mcconnell-threatens-to-del…/ar-AA9NG5D


Esential Information About College Organizations With A Fondness For Greek Letters

The accompanying news story points out that racism is alive
And well and not in just one fraternity echelon.
So, it’s a probably a good idea to avoid thinking that it’s simply
Something that exists at Sigma Alpha Epsilon.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

“Morning Joe” Panelists Claim That Black Culture And Rap Music Caused The University Of Oklahoma’s Video

It appears that racist song’s been around a long time
So, one would have to think lots
Of earlier music groups could probably be at fault ---
I’m going to blame The Ink Spots.

That Racist University Of Oklahoma Fraternity Video

Most news outlets won’t print the rant:
Some may want to but feel they can’t

Because --- I would imagine --- on the basis
Of repeating it would make them look racist.

But sometimes dashes or a few dots
Do other damage. Not a little, lots,

Because they tame the slur (perhaps not their intent)
Rendering it not nearly as bad as it was surely meant.

Some of you may now want to cover any children’s ears.
Here’s the frat chant that’s been chanted for many years:

“There will never be a nigger SAE
There will never be a nigger SAE
You can hang ‘em from a tree, but it will never start with me
There will never be a nigger SAE.”

To many people, I hope that these words will cause much dismay
And they’ll now stop saying there’s no racism in the USA today.…/university-of-oklahoma-fra…/

Friday, March 6, 2015

A New Way To Look At Bill O’Reilly’s (Alleged) Persistent Prevarication

Twisting what’s real as self-promotion and
Not once varying from that? Honestly
Isn’t that loyalty to anything that isn’t true
A perversely honest kind of dishonesty?…/oreilly-maddow-jfk-suicide-r…


Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Urban Legends

When a wildly swerving driver is pulled over
Is there any cop who thinks
That the guy’s telling the truth when he says,
“I swear I just had two drinks?”

By the same token, we suspect it’s a lie when
Some poor bastard gets chased and
Shot and then the officer involved will insist,
"He went for the gun in my waistband.”

Thursday, February 26, 2015

The Unspoken Disgrace About That Secret Detention Center Run In The Windy City By The Chicago Police Department

This is an outrage, a nightmare and a horror
That shouldn’t be allowed to persist.
(Such sites should all be outsourced abroad
So we can pretend they don’t exist.)…/homan-square-site-chicago-pol…

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Chicago Police Operated A Covert Interrogation Compound, A Domestic Version Of A CIA Black Site

Many arrests weren’t put in official databases,
Investigative reports said.
An unresponsive man in an “interview room”
Was later pronounced dead.

Detaining people as young as 15 ---
The details aren’t pretty.
It would appear in the Second City
There was a second city.…/chicago-police-detain-american…


Monday, February 23, 2015

Why "Birdman" Won

Even far more than Oscars
On a shelf
What Hollywood loves most
Is itself.

“We’re artists! Creativity
Is what we do!”
Says the producer of “Big
Momma’s House 2.”

“Zero Dark Thirty” was astonishing
But didn’t win big when
Academy members preferred “Argo”
Which was about them.

And yet another Best Picture Oscar
We all know is
What awaited “The Artist” which was
All about show biz.

“Boyhood” deals with family: voters
Must've been annoyed
Since family is what their careers
Help them to avoid.

12 years on one movie? I’d bet
A top hyphenate disparages
Because that time span’s longer
Than his last four marriages.…/birdman-wins-big-two-oscars-bu…


Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Oklahoma Republicans Vote To Ban Advanced Placement US History

What’s so darn good anyway
About being “advanced?”
Yankees who think they are
Need a kick in the pants.

Drinkin’ beer & watchin’ foo’ball
In your basement
Happens to be the only necessary
Kinda “placement.”

All you college types won’t ever
Be us.
Go drive off a short cliff in your

If you maybe disagree with me
All I have to say
By way of response would be,
“USA! USA!”…/oklahoma-lawmakers-vote-overwhl…/

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Putting Pop Culture & Politics In Perspective

Bruce Jenner caused a car crash and someone died:
(The road to his sex change is surely twisty)
And yet as awful and tragic as that event was, Jenner
Had a much better week than Chris Christie.

Thursday, February 5, 2015

NBC News Anchor Apologizes For Having Said That A Helicopter He Flew In Over Iraq In 2003 Was Shot At

So, Brian Williams back then wasn’t
Under fire? Wow.
In related news, it would appear he’s
Under fire now.…/brian-williams-forced-retract-…

Fox Host Steve Doocy Suggests Disney Animated Movies Are Empowering Women & Ridiculing Men

If your masculinity’s threatened by a cartoon
Get out of the hurly burly, man,
Go look in the mirror and then accept the fact
That you’re a big time girly man.…/fox-news-frozen-movie-emascu…

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

In 2012 Concession Call, Romney Inferred Obama Won Just Because Of Success With Black Voters

Mitt’s manicured mind has more odd angles
Than paintings by M.C. Escher:
Yet more proof that one thing he possesses is
A gracelessness under pressure.…/mitt-romneys-concession-call-irritated…


Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Thoughts About The Epidemic Of Stupidity

Facts are as dull as water ---
However, the essential truth
About conspiracies is they
Have a kick like vermouth.

Forget both logic and reason:
It’s more fun to let you
Believe that the government
Is really out to get to.

Far bigger than any majestic
And giant sequoia
Is the rush the uninformed
Get from paranoia.

(If memory serves, radio
Host Art Bell
Had a show that wasn’t
Doing well

Until he shifted from politics
To making queries
About all kinds of quite wild
Conspiracy theories.)

It’s nothing new --- some of you
May recall how fluoridation

These folks are begging for attention:
Should we ignore them? That’s
The right idea --- let others decide to
Toss coins in their tin foil hats.…


Monday, February 2, 2015

Moms In Charge Is A SoCal Group With Anti-Vaccine Views And A Unique Way Of Defending Its Position

The founder is Dotty Hagmier. Her middle
Name crosses one line
Of legitimacy: do you have much left if it
Happens to be Sunshine?

(That’s an acceptable name in 1968 if you’re
On acid and seeing weasels
At a Dead concert but not if you’re defending
A huge outbreak of measles.)

The words she uses make little sense: one
Could say her technique
Is reminiscent of you betcha-mama grizzly
Sarah Palin pageant-speak.

Look at the attached link and you’ll see her
Explanatory hype
Is nothing more than italics, capital letters
And bold face type.


Sunday, February 1, 2015

Footage Released Of Gov. Christie Falling While Trying To Sit Down For A Radio Interview

This awkward moment made many
Die-hard supporters shiver ---
The chair turned up in concrete at
The bottom of the East River.…/chris-christie-falls-chair-new…


Saturday, January 31, 2015

Irony (Vol. #17)

By far the most presidential thing 
Mitt Romney's ever done
Is his having decided not to make
Another presidential run.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Lindsay Lohan Felt Mingling With Her Fans Constituted Community Service

The only people who would
Ever try and do this
Are among the ranks of the
Colossally clueless.

It’s why we worship celebrities who
Will often seem so callow:
They offer glimpses into heretofore
Unknown depths of shallow.…/us--people-lindsay_lohan-954aba69…


Wednesday, January 21, 2015

A Few Thoughts About That Clint Eastwood-Bradley Cooper Collaboration

“American Sniper” ---
What the fuck.
A Chuck Norris movie
Without Chuck.


The Oscar controversy about Chris Kyle
May very well shift votes:
I suppose that one could blame this on
Some left wing swift boats.

But Republicans shouldn’t be complaining
About how this is playing dirty:
This is pretty much the same playbook that
They used on “Zero Dark Thirty.”…/

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Ohio Man Suspected In Planned Attack On U.S. Capitol

Terror charges? Yeah, sure
But there
Should also be ones about
His hair.

Was this photo taken on Ash Wednesday?
No, this depraved
Guy forgot that spot between his eyes he
Should’ve shaved.

Ship his sorry ass to Supermax prison
No ifs, ands or buts.
If he get ever gets out, then send him
Off to Supercuts.…/…/14/capitol-attack-isil/21770845


Wednesday, January 14, 2015

What Bill Cosby Probably Thought As He Watched Tina Fey & Amy Poehler Mock The Hell Out Of Him

“To disrespect me like that on live television
Wasn’t a difficult thing to do
But they wouldn’t have if I had slipped them
A roofie backstage in 1982.

OK, you little ladies had your little laugh during the
Last installment of the Golden Globes
But I dare you to visit me at my home where I’ve got
The pills for the people in my robes.”…/golden-globes-cosby-jo…/384426/


Thursday, January 8, 2015

A Few Thoughts About Paris

Cartoonists’ pens
Contain ink
And ideas that make
People think.

A few opposed to any
Manner of thinking
Recently were not in
Any way shrinking

From boldly deploying a
As a particularly violent
Way to solve

A certain problem but such
Events then
Will only unite more people
Against them.…/150107191146-26-paris-reax-0107-…


Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Attention: Phylicia Rashad Who Claims Attacks On Her Innocent TV Hubby Are “Orchestrated”

Is it an accident you’re speaking up now
As he’s about to, if I remember
Correctly, do his first live concert tonight
Since one back in November?

His handlers are using you with their
Calculated orchestration
To divert our attention and change
The present conversation

Away from even more women coming forward who
Claim they’ve been in bad shape
Since the Dad America loved & trusted for so long
Felt they’d be fun to drug & rape.

The problem with linking yourself to this
Man who handed out pills is
Your legacy is now destined to be just as
Tainted forever as Bill’s is.…/exclusive-bill-cosby-co-star-to…


Monday, January 5, 2015

Some Members Of The NYPD Insist On Turning Their Backs On Mayor de Blasio

All this shameless lack of respect for authority
That is now openly being expressed
Reminds me of similar behavior that cops revile
When young Black men resist arrest.…/us-usa-police-idUSKBN0KD06A20150104


Curb Your Enthusiasm (Not The Series)

The Republicans begin their new era in charge of both
houses of Congress.

Alas, History --- that notorious gossip --- reminds us that
governing is something they’ve never been any good at.


We know how this story goes: they will
Without a trace of grace fall
On their faces and be about as good as
Michael Jordan was at baseball.…/members-set-expectations-for-114t…/


Sunday, January 4, 2015

A Fab Four Flashback

On December 31st, TCM aired a beloved Baby Boomer movie: “A
Hard Day’s Night.” I hadn’t seen it in decades and loved it. This time
out, however, I happened to discover something entirely new to me.

Paul’s grandfather was Wilfred Brambell
A “mixer” who easily can
Cause endless trouble. He frequently was
Called “a clean old man.”

To children in the early Sixties
Unconsciously, we did
Conclude no one in the world
Looked older than he did.

But here’s the really weird part
That you may doubt is true:
When Brambell made this movie
He was just fifty-two.

So, even though you’re getting on
In years, please don’t ignore
That you probably don’t look as old
As Brambell did in 1964.…/pictures/2008/08/29/lennon460.jpg