Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Thoughts Before The Second GOP Presidential Debate

The doctor tells Donald Trump, “Don’t worry.
This procedure’s minor. I am a virgin
When it comes to this stuff but I’m very rich
And can figure out being a surgeon.”

“Hold on!” Trump bellows. “I want the best!
How the hell is this possible?”
“Donald, chill. I have a huuuge hedge fund
And we just bought the hospital.”

“If you’re not a real doctor, you’re fired!
This is making me stressful!”
“Don’t be a baby. Like you, I’m all about
Being really successful.”

“Are you listening to a word I’m saying?
Take a hike right now, buddy!”
“Donald, c’mon, don’t be like that --- I’m
Known as a real quick study.”

“That’s not exactly reassuring, pal! I’m
Not going to stop my complaining!”
“Donald, haven’t you ever heard about
The values of on the job training?”

“I don’t care! Get out right this second
And bring in the head resident!”
“OK, but … isn’t this what you’re doing
With your run for President?”

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Some Thoughts About Kim Davis

Elliot Richardson was Nixon’s Attorney General.
Dick felt it was time to fire & outfox
The top lawyer who was looking into Watergate:
Special prosecutor, Archibald Cox.

Richardson told Congress he wouldn’t interfere
And he didn’t feel it was OK
To break his promise and, at the same time, he
Also didn’t wish to disobey

The President. So, he chose jail instead and
In the long run, God save us,
He became a true American hero, not at all
Unlike Kentucky’s Kim Davis!

(Hold on, my bad, I just did some research
And the info that I happened to find
Is Richardson didn’t go to jail --- he did the
Old school right thing and resigned.)

Kim, if you want to only abide by God’s law
(I don't mean to nag or hector)
Go get yourself another gig at a church or
Working in the private sector.

I’m not an Apostolic Christian but I’ve had
Thoughts of miracles offhand
Like you live in a town of 23,000 but are
Pulling in over eighty grand.

With right wing hating and homophobia
Your name is now synonymous:
If you ever leave your church, you should
Start Apostolics Anonymous.