My Poem In The Journal Of Modern Poetry's 2018 Anthology, Dear Mr. President

Subterranean Homesick Blues (Rerouted & Updated)

by Tony Peyser

Donny's into debasement
Messing with your medicine
We’re on the pavement
Protesting the government
In a romp, drain the swamp
“The middle class’ll get paid off!”
Don’t buy that or deny that
He’s another Bernie Madoff.

Watch out, kid
For any takeover bid
Wall Street’s cheat sheet
Puts Main Street in the backseat
Ignore friendly Putin spies
In every DC alleyway
If you see Mike Pence,
Jump a fence & run the other way.

MAGA comes fleet foot
Free elections now kaput
The social media cheat put
More lies than his tweets could
The phone's tapped anyway
Trump’s a chump the Russkies pay
They must bust any day
Orders from Robert Mueller say.

Look out boy
For any Wikileaks ploy
Be careful how your ship goes
Don’t back down to those
Neo-Nazi tiki torch cryptos
Kick these lackeys in the khakis
You don't need the Weather Channel
To know which way the wind blows.

Some Of The Countries That Don’t Extradite To The United States or Dumb Things That Trump Has To (Again) Try & Memorize Today

Afghanistan and Kazakhstan,
Algeria and Eritrea,
Angola and Moldova,
Bahrain and Ukraine,
Cambodia and Ethiopia,
Micronesia and Tunisia,
Macedonia and Mongolia,
Madagascar and Qatar,
Nepal and Senegal,
Rwanda and Uganda,
And --- to be fair --- it would be such a
Mistake to forget Nambia and-or Russia.

 

Trump's Favorite Words To Tweet

Win, winning, very, weak.
(Six syllables that make me shriek.)

We, they, politically correct.
(Used to evade and deflect.)

Moron, tough, dangerous, smart.
(Does Donald pick them a la carte?)

Bad, amazing, stupid, huge.
(His face reminds me of Scrooge.)

Tremendous, zero, lose, terrific.
(His knack is never being specific.)

Out of control, lightweight, classy.
(He’s a hood ornament without a chassis.)

 

Finally, Some Clarity About Charity

Why would rich people wanting to help
Kids with cancer be in the mood
To send money to Eric Trump when they
Could just send it to St. Jude?

Because, it appears, one big motivation
Isn’t only lowering taxes
But when it comes to Eric’s dad having
Some very helpful access.

Yeah, we know the Trumps are sleazy & corrupt
But rather strikingly soon we’re
Going to see this happens with rich guys whose
Sons aren’t Eric and Don Junior.

Bernie Madoff stole billions. This isn’t news:
He’s one of Wall Street’s big thieves
But one way that he pulled his Ponzi off was
By using many charities as fig leaves.

Whenever the wealthy grandly announce all of
The good work that they’re doing
Bet heavy it isn’t all on the up and up and there
Are lots of people they’re screwing.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/dc/obstacles-dissolution-trump-foundation-attorney-general-irs-approval

 

Trump Fears The Deceased At The Polls

Just where will this lead? This needs to be said.
To his loss and a miniseries: "The Voting Dead."

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/oct/18/donald-trump-rejects-election-result-before-the-votes-have-been-counted

Some Perspective On The Current Republican Presidential Candidate

Regarding Donald Trump’s GOP,
Future historians won’t talk well:
It's less the party of Abe Lincoln
Than George Lincoln Rockwell.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Lincoln_Rockwell

Trump Implied Cruz’s Dad Knew Lee Harvey Oswald And Was Somehow Involved In The JFK Assassination

Ultra-conservatives all hate the Kennedys, so this
This should’ve been manna
From heaven and help Ted to pull off a stunning
Upset in Indiana.

http://www.bbc.com/news/election-us-2016-36195317

Trump Tactics To Look Forward To In The General Election

Hillary’s a lesbian. In
Addition, she’s a pagan.
She shot MLK & also
Winged Ronald Reagan.

Hillary killed Harvey Milk
And invented LSD.
Did I mention she green-lit
“Godfather III?”

Hillary’s deep in the pocket of
Evil Arab Sheiks.
It was her idea alone to cancel
“Freaks & Geeks.”

Hillary wrote many songs for Creed
(For reals, that’s no joke.)
In addition, she created the awful
Formula for New Coke.

Hillary made secret recent deals
To invest in Havana.
She caused the car accident that
Killed Lady Diana.

Hillary was behind Prince’s OD
She was Mandela’s jailer ---
She even found time to edit the
New “Ghostbusters” trailer.

 

The Tricky Road To The White House

Desperate politicians think
The right direction
Is feeding into voters’ fears
And disaffection.

Which voters, you may ask?
Most times, the right guys
To do this with would have
To be older white guys.

Nixon, back in the day, made
This a priority
By tailoring his message to the
Silent Majority

Which is what Trump does now.
Foes fear they’re dead meat
If they can’t come up with some
Comparable red meat.

But any honest GOP strategist in
Quiet moments panics:
He knows they can’t win without
Women & Hispanics.

They watch The Donald rant and rave
While knowing it’s an absurd act.
Old white men aren’t enough --- he’ll
Have trouble with his third act.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/monkey-cage/wp/2016/02/03/no-ones-looking-out-for-the-white-guy-heres-what-political-science-knows-about-trumps-appeal-to-ethnic-resentment/

 

 

Trump Blames Controversial KKK Comments On A "Faulty Earpiece"

His lying & spinning are stunning:
Could they on a dare cease?
It makes about as much sense to
Blame it on his hairpiece.

The Donald Refuses To Disavow The David (Duke) And The KKK

In this press, this horrible racist gaff predictably

Soon exploded like several defective missiles ---

It signals the end of Trump, the end of the GOP

And the end of any future need for dog whistles.
 

http://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2016-election/donald-trump-racist-endorsement-i-don-t-know-anything-about-n527576

 

 

 

 

2016, Donald Trump & The Presidency: Right Year … Right Guy … Wrong Job

He bitterly complains about everything:
Spiteful and petty, he really needs help.
C’mon --- isn’t he much better qualified
To be running for the President of Yelp?

 

Thoughts After Looking At A Photo Of The GOP Presidential Frontrunner

Doesn’t Donald Trump, the narcissist
And most unrepentant braggart
Look like a pervy evangelist cousin of
Pervy evangelist Jimmy Swaggart?

http://www.inquisitr.com/2800307/yes-folks-donald-trump-is-going-to-run-as-an-independent-candidate-unless-rnc-denounces-ted-cruz/

 

 

 

Trump Boldly Insists He Could “Shoot Somebody”And Still Not Lose Voters

Let me now just get
This off of my chest:
Michael Bloomberg needs
A bulletproof vest.

http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/23/politics/michael-bloomberg-president-2016/

Republicans Need To Stop Blaming Trump For The Current Awful State Of Their Party

They should instead be pointing fingers
At their sad sack cluster
Of candidates who are best described as
Creepy and-or lackluster.

Yeah, his anti-women & minorities message
Is causing paranoia
But compared to Donald, they’re tiny trees
And he’s a sequoia.

Isn't It Time To Talk About The Lower Half Of The Trump Ticket?

Insults about women and minorities
Donald has become fond of hurling:
Wouldn’t a perfect running mate be
Ex-Clippers’ owner Donald Sterling?

 

Getting In Touch With My Inner Trump

Europe has lots of anti-Semites:
To fight them, I will dare cut
All immigration by anyone who
Has a skinhead haircut.

Let’s ban anyone with a shaved head ---
They surely want to kill us.
Bye-bye, Jason Statham, see ya, Denzel,
And adios Bruce Willis.

Old school Nazis had plenty of hair, so
With my magic wand
I want to ban anyone being in the U.S.
Whose hair is blonde.

This will soon result in a rather vast and
Seismic cultural shift:
No more Madonna, no more Kristen Bell,
No more Taylor Swift.

Yeah, I know this makes The Donald
Look like quite a Scrooge
But this development could help him
In ways that are huuuge.

His hair’s blonde, so he’d have to leave
Our great country, too,
Yet there are places abroad that would
Share his point of view.

In certain countries, he would be seen as
An audacious winner:
Expect the expat to soon tell all Germans,
“Ich bin ein Berliner.”

Thoughts Before The Second GOP Presidential Debate

The doctor tells Donald Trump, “Don’t worry.
This procedure’s minor. I am a virgin
When it comes to this stuff but I’m very rich
And can figure out being a surgeon.”

“Hold on!” Trump bellows. “I want the best!
How the hell is this possible?”
“Donald, chill. I have a huuuge hedge fund
And we just bought the hospital.”

“If you’re not a real doctor, you’re fired!
This is making me stressful!”
“Don’t be a baby. Like you, I’m all about
Being really successful.”

“Are you listening to a word I’m saying?
Take a hike right now, buddy!”
“Donald, c’mon, don’t be like that --- I’m
Known as a real quick study.”

“That’s not exactly reassuring, pal! I’m
Not going to stop my complaining!”
“Donald, haven’t you ever heard about
The values of on the job training?”

“I don’t care! Get out right this second
And bring in the head resident!”
“OK, but … isn’t this what you’re doing
With your run for President?”

Trump Forms Exploratory Committee To Make 2016 White House Run

It’s as newsworthy as saying that inmates
Make up the most people at Sing Sing
Or that amateur clowns often attend the
Clown college sponsored by Ringling.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/…/4e9d3804-bd07-11e4-8668-4e7…