Friday, July 26, 2013

The Private Parts Of Public Figures

I’ve seen Anne Hathaway’s lady bits and
Britney Spears’ too and yet
Both of these glimpses that showed up
For millions on the internet

Were photos exiting from cars on nights
Out that seemed glamorous ---
They weren’t intentionally sharing them
To be either risqué or amorous.

So, Mr. Weiner, who soon won’t be a
Mayoral candidate, I suggest
The next time you’re compelled to send
(Yet another) x-rated sext

Do it with a little style --- perhaps you can
Find a smart-looking speedo.
If not, please accessorize your johnson with
A tiny bow tie and tuxedo.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Followers Turn On Leah Rimini After Her Departure From Scientology

Members of any real house of worship
Would be sorry, too,
But all that people there would say is,
“We’ll pray for you.”

The response to Rimini from Scientologists
(To any child or adult)
Is so rabid that it once and forever proves
It really is a cult,

A cult that panics when someone leaves
And inspires a buffet of fears
Especially someone like Rimini who had
Been a member for 28 years.

Its clannish, clam-worshipping followers
All seem so twisted and bent:
Let’s leave the likes of Kirstie Alley to the
Shelley Winters of her discontent.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Why George Zimmerman's Defense Team Should Rot In Hell

Trayvon Martin left this world
With a terrifying scream
The worst that any of us could
Imagine in a bad dream.

This aural evidence alone was
So gripping and so grim
They had to argue, "You know,
That was George. Not him."

The dying cry that unlucky Trayvon
Agonizingly emitted
Became a defense ploy that helped
Get their client acquitted.

How low can lawyers go? Let
That show
When push comes to shove,
That low.


Whenever Zimmerman's defense team
Arrives at heaven's gate
I hope St. Peter says just for a moment
They'll have to wait.

He'll study their resumes and then blurt out,
"What was that crap for?"
Referring to lying about Trayvon's scream
As he opens the trap door.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Why NSA Leaker Edward Snowden Has Nowhere To Go

PeysersPoem for 7-3-13

by Kathy & Tony Peyser

When we applied to colleges, we were
Mindful of a crucial rule:
Pick one place we knew we'd get into
To be our "safety school."

Snowden’s currently up in the air & can’t
Claim any suitable location:
It’s his own damn fault that he neglected
To select a “safety nation.”