Thursday, December 31, 2015

CNN Article Notes Cosby's Accusers "Had Grown To The Size Of A Choir"

Bill, this particular comment
I hope will somehow reach you:
What a pisser that this isn’t
A choir that you can preach to.


Monday, December 28, 2015

How To End Terrorism

Encourage Isis to move over here and
Make Chicago their home:
Windy City cops would kill them all
Before you finish this poem.

David Spade Says President and First Lady's Frequent TV Appearances Lack "Dignity"

Despite thick skin, both the Obamas must
By now be so hurt
By the dignified guy who co-wrote & also
Starred in “Joe Dirt”

But I doubt we’ll see signs of panic from
Any White House handler
At criticism from a hack who’s become
A wingman for Adam Sandler.

In addition to now being a faded star
For David, the additional curse is
Having talent so small it can fit in one
Of his sister-in-law Kate’s tiny purses.


Thursday, December 24, 2015

Isn't It Time To Talk About The Lower Half Of The Trump Ticket?

Insults about women and minorities
Donald has become fond of hurling:
Wouldn’t a perfect running mate be
Ex-Clippers’ owner Donald Sterling?


Thursday, December 10, 2015

Getting In Touch With My Inner Trump

Europe has lots of anti-Semites:
To fight them, I will dare cut
All immigration by anyone who
Has a skinhead haircut.

Let’s ban anyone with a shaved head ---
They surely want to kill us.
Bye-bye, Jason Statham, see ya, Denzel,
And adios Bruce Willis.

Old school Nazis had plenty of hair, so
With my magic wand
I want to ban anyone being in the U.S.
Whose hair is blonde.

This will soon result in a rather vast and
Seismic cultural shift:
No more Madonna, no more Kristen Bell,
No more Taylor Swift.

Yeah, I know this makes The Donald
Look like quite a Scrooge
But this development could help him
In ways that are huuuge.

His hair’s blonde, so he’d have to leave
Our great country, too,
Yet there are places abroad that would
Share his point of view.

In certain countries, he would be seen as
An audacious winner:
Expect the expat to soon tell all Germans,
“Ich bin ein Berliner.”