Monday, February 24, 2014

Alec Baldwin Blames Rachel Maddow For His Being Fired By MSNBC

He's white and middle-aged
And always in a rage:
Every paparazzi he wants to box ---

He needs a new start, he's
Ideal to switch parties
And become a commentator for Fox.

Friday, February 21, 2014

Rand Paul, Rick Perry: Ted Nugent Should Apologize For Calling President Obama A “Chimpanzee” & A “Subhuman Mongrel”

I saw this coming and
Knew it would foment
For Republicans their
Sister Souljah moment.

Friday, February 14, 2014

New Strategy For Christie In The Never-ending Bridgegate Saga

What's making the governor
Feel so glad now?
Blaming the whole shebang
On Rachel Maddow.


Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Christie Goes For Broke In Chicago

His goal was to fire up all the crowds
To show that he hasn't lost it ---
Insiders were surprised he didn't eat
The read meat before he tossed it.

Clarence Thomas Says “America Has Gotten Too Sensitive About Race”

You have to admit that's a very bold position
Both unyielding and unflinching ---
I guess it was another Clarence Thomas who
Railed about a "high-tech" lynching.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Atlantic City Sponsors Bacon Week Festival

That isn't a joke. It's a real headline --- I'm not
Bluffing. Still,
If that doesn't get Christie back to New Jersey,
Nothing will.

RNC Chairman Says He’s Eager To Rehash The Lewinsky Scandal

I guess Reince Priebus really wants to return
To that three-ring media fright show
(Or maybe this is just a diabolical plan to get
Jay Leno back on "The Tonight Show.")

GOP Candidates Avoid Christie During His Visit To Chicago

I hope ex-Gov. Blagojevich will reach
Out to Chris with humility
And kindly offer to show him the ropes
At his correctional facility.

Monday, February 10, 2014

Saturday, February 8, 2014

February 9, 1950, February 9, 1964

Tail-gunner Joe said on this very day that lots of commies
Were working in the Department of State.
14 years later, The Beatles went on "Ed Sullivan" and they
Knocked the world out like a heavyweight.

Senator McCarthy died back in 1957 --- this is
Clearly why he never could've
Seen The Fab Four. If liquor hadn't killed him
That TV appearance would've.

Governments change and pendulums shift:
Red-bashing megalomania
Was destined to have come up short against
The rise of Beatlemania.

Friday, February 7, 2014

Possible Explanation For Bill Baroni's Role In Bridgegate

Perhaps the one thing that was getting
Him down
Was that all the lanes there needed to
Slim down.

Sign That Chris Christie’s Problems Are Bigger Than He Thinks

He can try to dismiss Bridgegate interest
As nothing but liberal media rage
But that's harder to sell when the scandal
Now has its own Wikipedia page.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Wildstein’s Specially Created Port Authority Job Had No Job Description: He Got $150,000 A Year To Spy For Christie

Wouldn't it have been
More cost-effective
To have just hired a
Private detective?

I've just emailed the Port Authority
And then I eagerly proposed
That I replace Wildstein. (Damn it,
The position has been closed.)


Wednesday, February 5, 2014

New York GOP Official Under Fire For Sexting His (Former) Girlfriend’s Gal Pal

This kind of activity really has no upside and
Even if you're rigorously defending it to
Your boss and the press, you're toast ... unless
It's Anthony Weiner you're sending it to.

Fifty Years Later, Still Thinking About The Beatles

"We're bigger than Jesus"
Lennon once claimed:
Parents and clerics
Were all inflamed.

But for a time
Weren't we all
Apostles of both
John and Paul?

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Bridgegate Fallout Down The Road

Whenever some future sleazy politician
Has water he's begun to muddy
Pundits will wryly suggest he's perhaps
"Conducting a traffic study."

One Aid Resigns, Another Takes The Fifth & Won’t Hand Over Subpoenaed Documents

For Christie now, it's
Never a slow news day:
Just another manic
Monday (or Tuesday.)

Monday, February 3, 2014

Conservatives Go Crazy Over Super Bowl Coca-Cola Ad With “America The Beautiful” Sung Partly In Different Languages

Their hysterical responses make
Me chuckle and sigh:
Multiculturalism is as American
As imam and apple pie.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Historical Perspective On Garden State Politics

My wife is a Jersey Girl and Kathy recalls
As a child how she was delighted
To realize that the words "former mayor"
Were always preceded by "indicted."

Christie Waited Ten Months To Have “Integrity Monitors” In Place To Oversee Sandy Aid

Greedy politicians
All tend to mutiny
At the prospect of
Sufficient scrutiny.