Alec Baldwin Blames Rachel Maddow For His Being Fired By MSNBC

He's white and middle-aged
And always in a rage:
Every paparazzi he wants to box ---

He needs a new start, he's
Ideal to switch parties
And become a commentator for Fox.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/alec_baldwin_jabs_msnbc_farewell_essay

Rand Paul, Rick Perry: Ted Nugent Should Apologize For Calling President Obama A “Chimpanzee” & A “Subhuman Mongrel”

I saw this coming and
Knew it would foment
For Republicans their
Sister Souljah moment.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/rand_paul_ted_nugent_should_apologize

A Shockingly Premature Political Obituary For Chris Christie Aimed At People With Very Short Attention Spans

Portly.
Fort Lee.

New Strategy For Christie In The Never-ending Bridgegate Saga

What's making the governor
Feel so glad now?
Blaming the whole shebang
On Rachel Maddow.

http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/christies-strategy-blame-the-media

 

Christie Goes For Broke In Chicago

His goal was to fire up all the crowds
To show that he hasn't lost it ---
Insiders were surprised he didn't eat
The read meat before he tossed it.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/christie-bush-income-inequality-chicago-conservatives

Clarence Thomas Says “America Has Gotten Too Sensitive About Race”

You have to admit that's a very bold position
Both unyielding and unflinching ---
I guess it was another Clarence Thomas who
Railed about a "high-tech" lynching.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/clarence-thomas-sensitive-race

Atlantic City Sponsors Bacon Week Festival

That isn't a joke. It's a real headline --- I'm not
Bluffing. Still,
If that doesn't get Christie back to New Jersey,
Nothing will.

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20140211/DABT0B9O3.html

RNC Chairman Says He’s Eager To Rehash The Lewinsky Scandal

I guess Reince Priebus really wants to return
To that three-ring media fright show
(Or maybe this is just a diabolical plan to get
Jay Leno back on "The Tonight Show.")

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/reince-priebus-hillary-clinton-monica-lewinsky-rand-paul-2016

GOP Candidates Avoid Christie During His Visit To Chicago

I hope ex-Gov. Blagojevich will reach
Out to Chris with humility
And kindly offer to show him the ropes
At his correctional facility.

http://www.nj.com/politics/index.ssf/2014/02/as_christie_hits_chicago_democrats_follow_and_republican_candidates_stay_away.html#incart_river

Rubio Won’t Say If He Smoked Pot

Marco's response to that question?
That's not the way to go ---
The answer people are looking for
Is a simple "Yes" or "Whoa."

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/marco-rubio-declines-to-say-whether-he-smoked-pot

 

 

 

Christie’s Claim That He Didn’t Know Fort Lee Mayor Contradicted By 2010 Luncheon At Governor’s Mansion

I think Chris can stick to that position:
It wouldn't be a stunt for him
To ignore invited guests and just focus
On food put in front of him.

http://www.nj.com/politics/index.ssf/2014/02/bridge_scandal_claim_that_christie_didnt_know_fort_lee_mayor_contradicted_by_2010_luncheon.html#incart_river

February 9, 1950, February 9, 1964

Tail-gunner Joe said on this very day that lots of commies
Were working in the Department of State.
14 years later, The Beatles went on "Ed Sullivan" and they
Knocked the world out like a heavyweight.

Senator McCarthy died back in 1957 --- this is
Clearly why he never could've
Seen The Fab Four. If liquor hadn't killed him
That TV appearance would've.

Governments change and pendulums shift:
Red-bashing megalomania
Was destined to have come up short against
The rise of Beatlemania.

Possible Explanation For Bill Baroni's Role In Bridgegate

Perhaps the one thing that was getting
Him down
Was that all the lanes there needed to
Slim down.

http://www.amazon.com/Fat-Kid-Got-Fit-Can/dp/0762770473/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1391794909&sr=1-1&keywords=bill+baroni

Sign That Chris Christie’s Problems Are Bigger Than He Thinks

He can try to dismiss Bridgegate interest
As nothing but liberal media rage
But that's harder to sell when the scandal
Now has its own Wikipedia page.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridgegate_(scandal)

Wildstein’s Specially Created Port Authority Job Had No Job Description: He Got $150,000 A Year To Spy For Christie

Wouldn't it have been
More cost-effective
To have just hired a
Private detective?

I've just emailed the Port Authority
And then I eagerly proposed
That I replace Wildstein. (Damn it,
The position has been closed.)

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2014/02/port_authority_eliminates_director_job_created_for_wildstein.html#incart_river

 

New York GOP Official Under Fire For Sexting His (Former) Girlfriend’s Gal Pal

This kind of activity really has no upside and
Even if you're rigorously defending it to
Your boss and the press, you're toast ... unless
It's Anthony Weiner you're sending it to.

 

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/orange-county-gop-head-caught-sexting-scandal-article-1.1602509

Fifty Years Later, Still Thinking About The Beatles

"We're bigger than Jesus"
Lennon once claimed:
Parents and clerics
Were all inflamed.

But for a time
Weren't we all
Apostles of both
John and Paul?

Bridgegate Fallout Down The Road

Whenever some future sleazy politician
Has water he's begun to muddy
Pundits will wryly suggest he's perhaps
"Conducting a traffic study."

One Aid Resigns, Another Takes The Fifth & Won’t Hand Over Subpoenaed Documents

For Christie now, it's
Never a slow news day:
Just another manic
Monday (or Tuesday.)

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/christie-aide-resigns-subpoenaed-bridge

Conservatives Go Crazy Over Super Bowl Coca-Cola Ad With “America The Beautiful” Sung Partly In Different Languages

Their hysterical responses make
Me chuckle and sigh:
Multiculturalism is as American
As imam and apple pie.

 

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/coca-cola-super-bowl-ad-america-the-beautiful-conservatives-boycott

Historical Perspective On Garden State Politics

My wife is a Jersey Girl and Kathy recalls
As a child how she was delighted
To realize that the words "former mayor"
Were always preceded by "indicted."

Christie Waited Ten Months To Have “Integrity Monitors” In Place To Oversee Sandy Aid

Greedy politicians
All tend to mutiny
At the prospect of
Sufficient scrutiny.

http://www.nj.com/politics/index.ssf/2014/02/christie_took_10_months_to_implement_federal_sandy_aid_law.html