Friday, October 31, 2014

Alleged Cop Killer Eric Frein Captured

In earlier times, Frein often engaged in
Something with an odd appellation:
This weekend warrior would participate
In “recreational military simulation.”

His was fond of portraying a Serbian soldier.
In this get-up, he looked tough & calm.
Frein felt he was a real bad-ass. (Point of fact:
He lived at home with his dad & mom.)

To hell with guys who wear Civil War garb.
I feel right about here it’s my duty
To note his being a Serbian soldier was his
Way of being a reenactor foodie.

Too bad he hadn’t fought when caught
And just been blown away ---
Now we’ll have to hear each and every
Warped thought he has to say.

Crackpot survivalist theories will receive
His public endorsement.
Ditto grudges against the Boy Scouts as
Well as law enforcement.

Meanwhile, family, friends and local cops will
All be very patient as they wait
For a death sentence to be carried out to give
Frein his Tim McVeigh play date.


Hunger (And Irony) In America

If you want something to eat
And ask strangers, this
Is regarded as something that
Is unquestionably amiss.

But if you do this on Halloween
All is fine and dandy ---
Those aforementioned strangers
Happily hand over candy.

We’re all part of the same food chain
Where we do our daily climbing:
Survival there so often depends on
Something as simple as timing.


Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Prominent New York Orthodox Rabbi Videotaped Women Taking Ritual Baths At His Temple

If these gals found out about being spied on, my plan
For their revenge would be
Frolicking in the water while discussing what diners
Nearby had the best BLT.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Let Us Now Praise Famous Lies

“It tastes like chicken.”
“All I did was flirt.”
“I got stuck in traffic.”
“This shot won’t hurt.”

“Your table’s almost ready.”
“This procedure’s nearly done.”
“The check is in the mail.”
“The perp went for my gun.”

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Boston Herald Cartoonist Insists Obama-Watermelon Joke Was Unintentional

Jerry Holbert … you needed a better lie, one
That folks could possibly believe.
Having been an editorial cartoonist, trust me:
None of us are remotely “na├»ve.”