Friday, December 30, 2016

Cars Named After Poets

The Lincoln Town Carl Sandburg.

The Ogden Nash Rambler.

The Infiniti S. Eliot.

The W.H. Audi.

The AMC Day Lewis Pacer.

The Sharon Oldsmobile.

The Margaret Atwoodie.

The Paul Muldoon Buggy.

The Charles Honda Simic.

Thursday, December 29, 2016

Trump Blames Computers, Not Russia, For Hacking

This has to be --- without any doubt at all ---
One of his most idiotic dispatches
Like not blaming suspicious fires on arsonists
But the guy who invented matches.


Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Finally, Some Clarity About Charity

Why would rich people wanting to help
Kids with cancer be in the mood
To send money to Eric Trump when they
Could just send it to St. Jude?

Because, it appears, one big motivation
Isn’t only lowering taxes
But when it comes to Eric’s dad having
Some very helpful access.

Yeah, we know the Trumps are sleazy & corrupt
But rather strikingly soon we’re
Going to see this happens with rich guys whose
Sons aren’t Eric and Don Junior.

Bernie Madoff stole billions. This isn’t news:
He’s one of Wall Street’s big thieves
But one way that he pulled his Ponzi off was
By using many charities as fig leaves.

Whenever the wealthy grandly announce all of
The good work that they’re doing
Bet heavy it isn’t all on the up and up and there
Are lots of people they’re screwing.


Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Mulling Over The Last 361 Days

I try to keep 2016 out of my head but all
The bad memories trickle back:
If it were a band --- instead of a year ---
It would have to be Nickelback.

Carrie Fisher (1956-2016)

An over-actor who I once knew
Came back from a location
Of some truly awful movie and
Dropped into conversation

That Carrie Fisher was in the cast
(She played his sister or wife)
And he swore she was the funniest
Person he’d met in his life.

This was before Fisher’s books
Came out. So, you see
A claim to her wit was a brand
New bit of news for me.

Fisher soon became an author
And calmly beckoned with
Certainty that she was a comic
Voice to be reckoned with.

My hammy thespian pal was the kind
Of person who gave
Grand pronouncements like a certain
Performer was “brave.”

This is, of course, utter crap & it’s
More than just a bit unsavory
To suggest that any actor in a part
Is actually capable of bravery.

That term should only be applied
To soldiers who are at war
Or doctors doing emergency care:
These folks we can’t ignore.

Yet Fisher possessed true valor & not
Merely in terms of hilarity
But in her bold willingness to openly
Discuss her bipolarity.

Her doing this opened a door into
This troubling affliction
With both honesty and humor and
Without any contradiction

About how difficult it is to cope
As soon as it’s clearly known
Your mind is a bad part of town
And it has a mind of its own.

The good she did is incalculable
With her ironic culpa, mea
Which made her even braver than
She was as Princess Leia.

Shoppers Across The Country Get Involved In Store Brawls

With extraordinary bargains
In their sights
Nothing says Christmas quite
Like mall fights.


Thieves Steal $1 Million In Fur From Swanky New York Store

This attack was on Madison Avenue, which makes 
This even more scandalous ---
Police are searching for three men who are armed,
Dangerous and looking fabulous.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

The Glass Ceiling, Damn It, Remains In Place

I’m still horrified, My dark mood seems
Distinctly unable to lift
But what doesn’t surprise me is how a
Pendulum tends to shift.

Reagan came after Carter and
Clinton came after 41
Dubya came after Clinton, then
Obama’s time had come.

Did Bernie Bros. promise to come on board
And to no longer malign
Hillary or was that lip service and did they
Vote for Johnson or Stein?

Whatever. The only thing that matters now
Is Trump will get cocky (plenty)
And do things to demand the pendulum to
Shift away from him in 2020.

This is an historic moment where so many
People are feeling numb --- there
Is a reason to think of 9-11 but the damage
Isn’t on New York but from there.


Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Sunday, November 6, 2016

The World Series Champs' Connection To This Year's Election

I recently posted the Chicago Cubs anthem --- “Go, Cubs, Go” --- being boisterously sung as an encore by the Windy City’s current cast of “Hamilton.”

It is one of the most joyful things I’ve seen in years, a tonic in particular to all of the toxicity generated by this year’s election.

The song is a staple at Cubs games but was never a chart hit.


Days later, I still couldn’t get it out of my head and wondered who wrote this catchy tune.

That would be folk legend Steve Goodman, who died at 36 in 1984. In his short life, he managed to write one of those rare songs (that did chart) that will always be sung and never be forgotten. It won a Grammy and is as timeless as any Stephen Foster composition --- “The City of New Orleans.” When something you wrote is sung by the likes of Arlo Guthrie, Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson, you are rewarded with a bit of immortality.

Goodman graduated from Maine East High School in Ridge Park, Illinois, a school that has notable alumni (as Wikipedia likes to call them) like Harrison Ford.

Oh, and there was that other classmate.

Born a year before Goodman was, she was already known as a capable and ambitious student politcian. Like me, you probably haven’t met her but many of us will be voting her for on Tuesday.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Monday, October 17, 2016

Some Perspective On The Current Republican Presidential Candidate

Regarding Donald Trump’s GOP,
Future historians won’t talk well:
It's less the party of Abe Lincoln
Than George Lincoln Rockwell.

Saturday, June 25, 2016

UK Leaves The EU

Expect decades-long financial repercussions.
It signals an immigrant-fearing seismic shift:
It’s the worst thing to happen to Britain since
Tom Hiddleston started dating Taylor Swift.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Go Towards The Klieg Light

Tom Gries,
a friend of my parents,
died in 1977.

After the service and eulogies
there was a good deal of milling around
at the reception back at Gries’ house.

This was sad but fairly uneventful
until it appeared that someone
had turned on a klieg light.

You couldn’t see it but what
the hell else could generate
such overpowering illumination?

And, by the way,
who brings such a thing
to a funeral?

All of the mourners
collectively closed
one eye and held

one hand up
to get a better look
but there was no klieg light.


Gries was a TV and movie director
(perhaps best known
for “Helter-Skelter.”)

Many people
he’d worked with
were there that day

and one of them was now
blinding all of us
by his mere presence.

His only had one acting credit
but was the most famous name in sports
for over a decade

and had the most
recognizable face
on the planet.

We were all dizzy and dazzled
by being at such close proximity to this
graceful incandescence in human form

who most people only saw
on TV, maybe in an airport
or from a distance in a sports arena.

I saw the light
and moved towards it.
It went by the name Muhammad Ali.

(How his opponents ever fought him
without wearing sunglasses
is beyond me.)


Thursday, May 5, 2016

Trump Implied Cruz’s Dad Knew Lee Harvey Oswald And Was Somehow Involved In The JFK Assassination

Ultra-conservatives all hate the Kennedys, so this
This should’ve been manna
From heaven and help Ted to pull off a stunning
Upset in Indiana.

Trump Tactics To Look Forward To In The General Election

Hillary’s a lesbian. In
Addition, she’s a pagan.
She shot MLK & also
Winged Ronald Reagan.

Hillary killed Harvey Milk
And invented LSD.
Did I mention she green-lit
“Godfather III?”

Hillary’s deep in the pocket of
Evil Arab Sheiks.
It was her idea alone to cancel
“Freaks & Geeks.”

Hillary wrote many songs for Creed
(For reals, that’s no joke.)
In addition, she created the awful
Formula for New Coke.

Hillary made secret recent deals
To invest in Havana.
She caused the car accident that
Killed Lady Diana.

Hillary was behind Prince’s OD
She was Mandela’s jailer ---
She even found time to edit the
New “Ghostbusters” trailer.


Thursday, April 28, 2016

Why Should Dennis Hastert’s Age And Poor Health Lessen His Punishment?

He ruined the lives of the boys he molested
And left them all with permanent scars ---
So, why shouldn’t his golden years be ruined
By an open-ended stay behind prison bars?

If Mr. Hastert’s in need of a sympathetic ear,
I have no doubt he might very
Well find one in Mr. Sandusky. (The link here
Is where Dennis can write Jerry.)


Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Cure For Insomnia

What are the three most 
Sleep-inducing words of all?
Obviously, that would have
To be “Kasich Town Hall.”

Sunday, March 20, 2016

The Tricky Road To The White House

Desperate politicians think
The right direction
Is feeding into voters’ fears
And disaffection.

Which voters, you may ask?
Most times, the right guys
To do this with would have
To be older white guys.

Nixon, back in the day, made
This a priority
By tailoring his message to the
Silent Majority

Which is what Trump does now.
Foes fear they’re dead meat
If they can’t come up with some
Comparable red meat.

But any honest GOP strategist in
Quiet moments panics:
He knows they can’t win without
Women & Hispanics.

They watch The Donald rant and rave
While knowing it’s an absurd act.
Old white men aren’t enough --- he’ll
Have trouble with his third act.



Wednesday, March 16, 2016

What Trump's Supporters Mean When They Say, "He's Just Like Us"

We love Toby Keith but rest assured
We sure don’t like Enya.
We can’t stand uppity Obama: c’mon!
He was born in Kenya.

We triumph over all of our enemies
Wherever we face ‘em ---
These colors don’t run (but coloreds
Do whenever we chase ‘em.)

We’d like to drive over late light comics
With an incredibly fast car.
We are not fans of cop-hating Beyoncé
But we love our NASCAR.

We love America from the vast prairies
To the tall mountain ridges.
We love the idea of building walls but
We hate “building bridges.”

We don’t even like women, especially
Those who have to wear Spanx.
We don’t appreciate it when Muslims
Work as tellers in our banks.

We think Larry the Cable Guy’s hilarious
We love beans --- and even beaners
(But only when they’re getting beat up on
“Cops” or working at our cleaners.)

To make our great nation
Great again
It just needs to be white &
Straight again.


Monday, March 7, 2016

Was Being Endorsed By Former Michigan Senator Donald Riegle Something That Bernie Sanders Actually Needed?

Let’s be honest --- there really aren’t that many people
Who remember Riegle still alive.
He’s perhaps best known for an affair with an assistant
And being one of the Keating Five.


Mystery About Ted Cruz Solved

He often advised House members about how
To shutdown the government in 2013
(A kind of event that until fairly recently was
Talked about but rarely, if ever, seen.)

Why did a Senator huddle with guys in the House?
“Because,” my wife decides to surmise,
“Every other Senator then and now collective feel
Ted is someone to avoid and despise.”



Tuesday, March 1, 2016

In 1927, Trump’s Father Was Arrested After A Klan Riot In Queens

When he’s eventually asked about this, The Donald
Will be indignant and claim by all means
That he’s unfamiliar with 1927, fatherhood, riots and
Hasn't heard of, let alone been, to Queens.

Monday, February 29, 2016

Trump Blames Controversial KKK Comments On A "Faulty Earpiece"

His lying & spinning are stunning:
Could they on a dare cease?
It makes about as much sense to
Blame it on his hairpiece.

Supreme Court Justice Thomas Asks A Question In Court For The First Time In Ten Years

I haven’t found out what Clarence said
But I bet it’ll be a
Thought along the lines of, “Jeez: where
The heck is Scalia?”


The Donald Refuses To Disavow The David (Duke) And The KKK

In this press, this horrible racist gaff predictably
Soon exploded like several defective missiles ---
It signals the end of Trump, the end of the GOP
And the end of any future need for dog whistles.


Sunday, February 28, 2016

2016, Donald Trump & The Presidency: Right Year … Right Guy … Wrong Job

He bitterly complains about everything:
Spiteful and petty, he really needs help.
C’mon --- isn’t he much better qualified
To be running for the President of Yelp?


Thursday, February 25, 2016

Scalia Died While Vacationing With An Ancient Secret Fraternity Of Elite Hunters

Scalia wore a green robe with a cross
As did all his right wing buds ---
These Republican movers and shakers
Were just comical Elmer Fudds.


Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Ted Cruz --- Again --- Finishes Third, This Time In The Nevada Caucuses

I wonder if this one thought
Has been striking him:
What people most like about
Him is not liking him.


Monday, February 22, 2016

Uber Driver Who Went On Killing Spree In Michigan Will Be In Court Today

This may cause some annoying Millennials to
Do some serious and thorough debating
Before the next time they whine at their driver,
“Dude --- I am so giving you a bad rating.”

In related news, this kind of horrible event
Can possibly create a seismic shift
And give some of Uber’s current competitors
A much needed and definite Lyft.


Sunday, February 21, 2016

Newly Discovered Photo Proves Sanders Was A Protester During The Civil Rights Movement

On this quite touchy topic, Bernie will no longer
Continue to be dimed and-or nickeled:
(Too bad his staff couldn’t find a snapshot where
It didn’t look like he was being tickled.)

The Former Governor Of Florida Drops Out Of The 2016 Race

Worst. Presidential. Campaign. Ever. This
Is how most historians will anoint
His bid --- he was a question mark starting
With JEB!’s exclamation point.

The Bush name took quite a beating. In his
Opponents, he didn’t inspire terror.
There’s really no other way to put this than
To just say it’s the end of an error.


Friday, February 19, 2016

The “Is Cruz Really An American?” Question Officially Heads To Illinois Court Tomorrow

If he’s not, the next Canadian election is
In 2019, by the way.
Perhaps he can modify his current slogan
To “TrusTed … eh?”


Attention All Republicans Dramatically Clutching Their Pearls Because The President Isn't Going To Scalia's Funeral

Are you familiar with Obama’s SOTU speeches?
Then I would suppose
You may perhaps recall that Nino --- as a rule ---
Failed to attend those.


Attention All Republicans Furious That Obama's Last Supreme Court Pick Won't Be A Worthy Successor To Scalia

Stop acting like you have some noble purpose and
Are objective and impartial ---
41 gave us an empty robe named Clarence Thomas
To replace Thurgood Marshall.


Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Thoughts After Looking At A Photo Of The GOP Presidential Frontrunner

Doesn’t Donald Trump, the narcissist
And most unrepentant braggart
Look like a pervy evangelist cousin of
Pervy evangelist Jimmy Swaggart?



Monday, February 15, 2016

What Obama Should Do About This Sudden Supreme Court Vacancy

My wife had this singular suggestion
That (understandably) will
Make Republicans crazy --- replace
Justice Scalia with Anita Hill.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

L.A. Times Columnist Explains How Scalia’s Passing Impacts 2016 Race

The size of the Democratic base is growing
Because their main priorities
Have been looking out for the rights of gays
Women as well as minorities.

The size of the Republican base is shrinking
Since they’ve mostly set their sights
On the part of the electorate who can best
Be described as conservative whites.

Even if the GOP-controlled House and Senate
Won’t let a new justice enter
The Supreme Court, their delaying tactics put
This issue front and center.


In the exclusive, segregated part of heaven
Poor Nino must be feeling so bereft
To realize his departure will make the court
Probably move a bit more to the left.


Sunday, February 7, 2016

Thoughts About The Most Recent Republican Debate

Rubio picked the worst time to falter.
Donors hope this will stop --- get
A look at all of those photos online
Where you can see his flop sweat.

Christie devoured Rubio like a gallon of
Ice cream from the fridge --- Fate
May be in his corner but there are still
Ongoing problems with Bridge-gate.

Jeb! seemed worthy of his exclamation point
Which was kind of stunning: wait
Would it actually be possible for him to have
His Mom as his VP running mate?

How did the governor of Ohio do? Well, he
Needed a good night. The basic
Consensus is that he had precisely that, so
Don’t put a fork just yet in Kasich.

Cruz was sorry for his Iowa dirty trick but still
Seemed unsympathetic
A most curious stunt to pull off precisely when
You’re being apologetic.

Despite punches from Jeb! Trump remains on top.
This last debate for damn sure
Shows the GOP nomination is still up for grabs ---
Keep your eyes on New Hampshire.


Tuesday, February 2, 2016

New Question For The New 2016 GOP Frontrunner

If Cruz is so tight with God whose
Backing he apparently never lacks
Why didn't Ted hit Him up for a loan
Instead of asking Goldman Sachs?


Monday, January 18, 2016

Republicans Need To Stop Blaming Trump For The Current Awful State Of Their Party

They should instead be pointing fingers
At their sad sack cluster
Of candidates who are best described as
Creepy and-or lackluster.

Yeah, his anti-women & minorities message
Is causing paranoia
But compared to Donald, they’re tiny trees
And he’s a sequoia.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Cruz Insists Failure To Disclose Six-Figure Loan From Goldman Sachs Was A “Filing Error”

Cruz says this has been known for many years
“And that’s the end of that.”
Yeah and blind people have long been known
To use a seeing-eye cat.


Thursday, January 7, 2016

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Civil Disobedience: Oregon vs. the 1960s

To easily define the two groups, you
Don’t need a flow chart. One
Big difference is the latter was trying
To end a war --- not start one.