Wednesday, August 29, 2012

I Love The Smell Of Paranoia In The Morning

You know what really makes
Me sick? That
Mitt's planning to take away
Your six-pack!

Mormons don’t drink!
His secret mission
Is bringing back good
Old Prohibition!

In addition to closing up
All your favorite bars
Mitt won’t let you watch
“Dancing With The Stars.”

Mormons don’t dance!
The future’s gonna be
Not even toe-tapping
To Donny & Marie!

What’s next on his ban
Against honest folk?
Mitt will outlaw letting
You have a smoke!

Mormons don’t smoke!
You’ve had your quota!
Next Mitt will come after
Your favorite soda!

Mormons hate caffeine!
That means that you
Have had your last Pepsi,
Coke & Mountain Dew!

Mormons hate coffee!
Even if you know karate
You will never again
Drink a Starbucks latte!

Victoria’s Secret models
Will be filled with despair!
Even they can’t be sexy in
Mormon Magic underwear!

I have seen the future and it
Doesn’t look pretty!
A bland gulag reminiscent
Of Salt Lake City!

Let’s close ranks right now and
Soldier on possessed
United to fight the power of the
Mormon Conquest!

(If you are offended … c’mon!
I’m only blowing smoke:
Not unlike Mitt’s birther remark
This was just a "joke.")

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