Saturday, June 25, 2016

UK Leaves The EU

Expect decades-long financial repercussions.
It signals an immigrant-fearing seismic shift:
It’s the worst thing to happen to Britain since
Tom Hiddleston started dating Taylor Swift.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Go Towards The Klieg Light

Tom Gries,
a friend of my parents,
died in 1977.

After the service and eulogies
there was a good deal of milling around
at the reception back at Gries’ house.

This was sad but fairly uneventful
until it appeared that someone
had turned on a klieg light.

You couldn’t see it but what
the hell else could generate
such overpowering illumination?

And, by the way,
who brings such a thing
to a funeral?

All of the mourners
collectively closed
one eye and held

one hand up
to get a better look
but there was no klieg light.


Gries was a TV and movie director
(perhaps best known
for “Helter-Skelter.”)

Many people
he’d worked with
were there that day

and one of them was now
blinding all of us
by his mere presence.

His only had one acting credit
but was the most famous name in sports
for over a decade

and had the most
recognizable face
on the planet.

We were all dizzy and dazzled
by being at such close proximity to this
graceful incandescence in human form

who most people only saw
on TV, maybe in an airport
or from a distance in a sports arena.

I saw the light
and moved towards it.
It went by the name Muhammad Ali.

(How his opponents ever fought him
without wearing sunglasses
is beyond me.)


Thursday, May 5, 2016

Trump Implied Cruz’s Dad Knew Lee Harvey Oswald And Was Somehow Involved In The JFK Assassination

Ultra-conservatives all hate the Kennedys, so this
This should’ve been manna
From heaven and help Ted to pull off a stunning
Upset in Indiana.

Trump Tactics To Look Forward To In The General Election

Hillary’s a lesbian. In
Addition, she’s a pagan.
She shot MLK & also
Winged Ronald Reagan.

Hillary killed Harvey Milk
And invented LSD.
Did I mention she green-lit
“Godfather III?”

Hillary’s deep in the pocket of
Evil Arab Sheiks.
It was her idea alone to cancel
“Freaks & Geeks.”

Hillary wrote many songs for Creed
(For reals, that’s no joke.)
In addition, she created the awful
Formula for New Coke.

Hillary made secret recent deals
To invest in Havana.
She caused the car accident that
Killed Lady Diana.

Hillary was behind Prince’s OD
She was Mandela’s jailer ---
She even found time to edit the
New “Ghostbusters” trailer.


Thursday, April 28, 2016

Why Should Dennis Hastert’s Age And Poor Health Lessen His Punishment?

He ruined the lives of the boys he molested
And left them all with permanent scars ---
So, why shouldn’t his golden years be ruined
By an open-ended stay behind prison bars?

If Mr. Hastert’s in need of a sympathetic ear,
I have no doubt he might very
Well find one in Mr. Sandusky. (The link here
Is where Dennis can write Jerry.)


Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Cure For Insomnia

What are the three most 
Sleep-inducing words of all?
Obviously, that would have
To be “Kasich Town Hall.”