Lawmaker Steve LaTourette Is Retiring

In 2003, this Ohio Republican had

An unforgettable fling

With an underling whose name had

A most memorable ring.

I wonder if this LaTourette

Chap took

A special delight in hiring Jennifer

Laptook.

With a name like that, LaTourette

Couldn’t resist

This former aide who had become

A lobbyist.

How long did Mister LaTourette have to wait

To get a chance

For Laptook to put down her laptop & hop up

For a lap dance?

(People, I swear sometimes

The poetry elves

Intervene & these poems just

Write themselves.)

Like fellow philanderer Speaker Gingrich who

Often heard lots of boos & hisses

LaTourette hoped to put this behind him when

He made his mistress his next Mrs.

And like Republicans with wandering eyes

Whose behavior is contradictable

He wanted Bill impeached due to Monica ---

These guys are so predictable.

http://www.salon.com/2004/10/05/lobbyist/

Romney Aide Tells Persistent Reporters In Poland To “Kiss My Ass … This Is A Holy Site For The Polish People”

It's always a treat when a guy like Rick Gorka
Finds time & poetically waxes.
Yeah, that oughta make those political writers
Stop asking about Mitt’s taxes.

http://news.yahoo.com/mitt-romney-spokesman-tells-reporters-kiss-polish-holy-110442318--abc-news-politics.html

Michele Bachmann Has Questions About Huma Abedin: Why Isn’t She Also Worried About Samah Alreyyes?

Samah Alrayyes is a Kuwaiti PR specialist.

Why should anyone get more pissed

About her than Anthony’s Weiner’s wife?

Samah’s hubby is Grover Norquist.

She’s a Palestinian Muslim. Shouldn’t any

Republican devoted to all things Israeli

Be concerned she’s married to the guy who

Is the god right wingers pray to daily?

How do they really know Samah isn’t a spy

A devious and cunning smarty

Who has brainwashed Norquist and intends

To subvert the Republican party?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grover_Norquist#Personal_life

Romney Forgets (Or Doesn’t Know) The Name Of The Head Of Britain’s Labour Party

In related news, Mitt said he loves sci-fi movies

Whenever the aliens land

Approach an earthling and then boldly tell them,

“Take me to your Miliband!”

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/mr-leader-did-mitt-romney-forget-ed-milibands-name-7978925.html

Romney Tells NBC He Doubts Olympics Will Go Well & British People Seem Insufficiently Excited

This gaffe so stunned pundits here and abroad

Some briefly seem to lack words ---

Humiliated, Mitt walked back his criticism like

A dressage horse walking backwards.

http://2012.talkingpointsmemo.com/2012/07/romney-london-olympics-gaffes.php?ref=fpnewsfeed

Kristen Stewart Apologizes For Cheating On Robert Pattinson In Brief Fling With Married Director

Stewart so often appears lifeless and depressed:

When walking she barely seems perpendicular.

It’s hard for me to imagine her having the energy

For something romantically extracurricular.

http://blogs.indiewire.com/theplaylist/there-were-probably-better-days-to-announce-this-alex-pettyfer-will-play-kristen-stewarts-boyfriend-in-cali-20120725

Livid Paterno Family Blasts Huge Sanctions Against Football Program

It’s now getting increasingly harder to hear his

Relatives bitterly then state

Once again Joe didn’t know what Sandusky did

To all of those boys at Penn State.

Harder still is how utterly clueless they are:

Joe’s reputation is tarred

And they’re no longer in a position to play

The indignation card.

http://collegefootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/07/23/paterno-family-blasts-ncaa-penn-state-in-statement/