Those Recent Rumors Swirling Around Former Speaker Hastert

It seems that some people (actually, many)
Are actively attempting to deny Denny




His rightful accolades --- he’s beyond reproach.
He wasn’t some touchy-feely wrestling coach.




What? He was? OK … that may generate some fears
But I would bet he only did that for a couple of years.




Really? For around a decade and a half? So
It would appear here that I’m the last to know.




Alright, but there would have been more doubts
If he had been involved with the Boy Scouts.




Not that, too? Oh, jeez. The only thing that could eclipse
All this is if he took Boy Scouts on out of town trips.




I’d bet the ranch he didn’t: c’mon! He did? He fooled everyone.
The only person happy to hear this is the Duggar’s oldest son.




The simple message that I can pass along with impunity?
No one’s more suspicious than “a pillar of the community.”




http://www.nytimes.com/…/…/politics/hastert-indictment.html…

Famed Watergate Journalist Insists Dubya Didn't Lie About WMD To Justify Iraq War

I still like Carl Bernstein but no longer have
A good word
For the now conservative shill known as
Bob Woodward.


http://www.esquire.com/…/news/a…/bob-woodwards-jive-talking/

The Final Scorecard On Letterman vs. Leno

To late-night heights
These two men hiked:
Dave wound up beloved
Jay wound up beliked.


http://cdn.splitsider.com/…/…/2013/11/Leno-and-Letterman.jpg

Dear Texas,

The cat’s out of the bag and the reality
Will hit you like hundreds of tons.
Everything you feared is coming true:
Yankees are coming for your guns!

We want to take all of your rifles and
Then we’ll grab your pistols
And if you like to tweek, we’ll sneak
Off with your meth crystals.

We’ll take possession of your barbeque
As we’ll playfully put “y’alls”
Into our conversation --- did I mention
Swiping your favorite footballs?

We’ll commandeer your beer and as
We commence to hiccup
Will decide that we oughta hotwire
And speed off in your pickup.

We’ll replace your Toby Keith CDs
With ones done by Enya.
God bless Barack Hussein Obama
Who was born in Kenya!

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/live…/chuck-norris-jade-helm-15

 

Santorum Says We Should Love And Accept Jenner

This sounds compassionate but isn’t. Let’s get real ---
C'mon, Rick's enough of a smarty
To do this because Bruce came out as a conservative
Member of the Republican Party.

The other reason that former Senator Santorum has
Decided not to keep a lid
On his reaction to Jenner is that he’s likely to make
Another presidential bid.

Cutting to the chase, Rick hopes
To engender hope
When attempting to corner the
Transgender vote.

Rick, you and compassion are a bad mix. A great
Many people would be quite clear it
Doesn’t work. Emimen could join a barbershop
Quartet but who’d want to hear it?

Hold on: you clarified your comments. You didn’t mean
A policy change, just sympathy for Bruce.
Phew! Thank God there isn’t a warm and fuzzy Santorum
Really out in the world and running loose.

http://www.msnbc.com/…/santorum-clarifies-surprising-remark…

 

Christie Crony Claims The GWB Closing Was Retaliation Against An Uncooperative Mayor

Brainy --- but doughy --- nerd boy David Wildstein
Is now officially Christie’s nemesis:
His testimony will insure the Governor won’t ever
Live on The White House premises.

The insult to injury irking Christie the most that
Bridge-gate fanatics can’t dismiss is
That Wildstein in the interim lost lots of weight
And is now far thinner than Chris is.

http://www.nytimes.com/…/christie-ally-expected-to-plead-gu…