Christie Crony Claims The GWB Closing Was Retaliation Against An Uncooperative Mayor

Brainy --- but doughy --- nerd boy David Wildstein
Is now officially Christie’s nemesis:
His testimony will insure the Governor won’t ever
Live on The White House premises.

The insult to injury irking Christie the most that
Bridge-gate fanatics can’t dismiss is
That Wildstein in the interim lost lots of weight
And is now far thinner than Chris is.

http://www.nytimes.com/…/christie-ally-expected-to-plead-gu…

 

Putting Pop Culture & Politics In Perspective

Bruce Jenner caused a car crash and someone died:
(The road to his sex change is surely twisty)
And yet as awful and tragic as that event was, Jenner
Had a much better week than Chris Christie.

http://www.nj.com/…/christies_month_from_hell_handicaps_whi…

 

Footage Released Of Gov. Christie Falling While Trying To Sit Down For A Radio Interview

This awkward moment made many
Die-hard supporters shiver ---
The chair turned up in concrete at
The bottom of the East River.

http://www.nydailynews.com/…/chris-christie-falls-chair-new…

 

Headline In The Guardian: “Christie cleared again of involvement in New Jersey ‘Bridgegate’ scandal”

This decision was recently reached by what
One could characterize as acres
Of people who are known to the public as
New Jersey state lawmakers.

Good for Chris! It’ll all clear sailing now ---
No one should be in any way hesitant
To immediately stop calling him “Governor”
And start calling him “Mr. President.”

Goodbye, Garden State! Hello, Washington D.C.!
Hold on --- I don’t really want to hit a dissonant
Note, but I just saw the story’s last line: “The US
Attorney’s office is still investigating the incident.”

Gee, that takes all of the fun out of that headline
And makes me a bit wary --- it
Seems like accidentally putting the lead in a hole,
If not actually deciding to bury it.

http://www.theguardian.com/…/chris-christie-cleared-again-n…

 

New Strategy For Christie In The Never-ending Bridgegate Saga

What's making the governor
Feel so glad now?
Blaming the whole shebang
On Rachel Maddow.

http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/christies-strategy-blame-the-media

 

Christie Goes For Broke In Chicago

His goal was to fire up all the crowds
To show that he hasn't lost it ---
Insiders were surprised he didn't eat
The read meat before he tossed it.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/christie-bush-income-inequality-chicago-conservatives

Christie’s Claim That He Didn’t Know Fort Lee Mayor Contradicted By 2010 Luncheon At Governor’s Mansion

I think Chris can stick to that position:
It wouldn't be a stunt for him
To ignore invited guests and just focus
On food put in front of him.

http://www.nj.com/politics/index.ssf/2014/02/bridge_scandal_claim_that_christie_didnt_know_fort_lee_mayor_contradicted_by_2010_luncheon.html#incart_river

Sign That Chris Christie’s Problems Are Bigger Than He Thinks

He can try to dismiss Bridgegate interest
As nothing but liberal media rage
But that's harder to sell when the scandal
Now has its own Wikipedia page.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridgegate_(scandal)

One Aid Resigns, Another Takes The Fifth & Won’t Hand Over Subpoenaed Documents

For Christie now, it's
Never a slow news day:
Just another manic
Monday (or Tuesday.)

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/christie-aide-resigns-subpoenaed-bridge

Guiliani Claims Odds Are Even Top New Jersey Politician Knew About GWB Lane Closures

Governor Christie --- this won't
Give you a lift. He
Says it's fifty-fifty. That makes
You shifty-shifty.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/giuliani-fifty-fifty-closures

In Association With The Super Bowl, Chris Christie Takes On Sexual Exploitation In New Jersey

I would advise the governor to say, "Yes,
We've made significant gains.
We haven't ended human trafficking but
We have shut down a few lanes."

 

http://www.nj.com/superbowl/index.ssf/2014/01/underbelly_of_the_super_bowl_christie_shines_light_on_human_trafficking.html

TPM Headline: “Christie Won’t Address Bridge, Sandy Aid Allegations In Inaugural Address”

What a scoop! I didn't see that coming at all.
I was expecting something much grimmer
Like Chris insisting, "Before I speak, let's
Hear a few words from ... Dawn Zimmer!"

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/christie_inaugural_address

The Intersection of Autobiography & Geography

Doesn't it appear increasingly likely
That the bullying and portly
New Jersey governor will be undone
By what he did in Fort Lee?

 

http://www.salon.com/2014/01/11/that_smacks_of_watergate_expert_tells_salon_which_charges_could_reach_chris_christies_office/

 

A Chatty Press Conference, A Silent Bridge Hearing

Alas, this just doesn't pass the proverbial smell test:
Christie repeatedly made all these denials with
Certainly he knew nothing but this was undermined
By his ex-Port Authority pal who took the Fifth.

 

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/wildstein-contempt

Bridge Gridlock? Christie Now Insists, “I Was Duped.” (Yeah, Right.)

If you ever lie in the midst of another lie,
People may wind up wincing. One
Should always try to have that second lie
Be a really really convincing one.

http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/christie-statement-bridge

Top Christie Official Named In Gridlock Retaliation

This won't help the governor's presidential bid ---
Some star power already fades under
Such scrutiny. He cancelled a speech today to look
For buses to throw a few aides under.

 

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/09/nyregion/christie-aide-tied-to-bridge-lane-closings.html?smid=fb-share&_r=0

Chris Christie Allegedly Caused Four-Day Traffic Jam To Get Back At Jersey Pol For Not Endorsing Him

Would he really be this petty and vindictive?
Many have given a downward thumb to it.
His next explanation will be along the lines of,
"I'll gridlock that bridge when I come to it."

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/12/30/the-new-not-necessarily-improved-chris-christie.html

Unconfirmed Source Says Christie Attended PTA Meeting After Winning Reelection

It claims his attire was informal there ---
A windbreaker and jeans and sneakers.
It wasn’t even at one of his kids’ schools:
He just wanted to yell at some teachers.

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-11-06/chris-christie-wins-2nd-term-as-n-j-governor-ap-says.html
 

Christie Blasts Boehner For Delay On Sandy Relief Bill

I wish I could spy on their next meeting

When they go mano a mano:

It will look like George Hamilton getting

Roughed up by Tony Soprano.

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20130103/DA3INEDG0.html

Why Christie Will Never Be President

It’s not because Chris is so out of shape that he

Never could’ve been accepted in ROTC:

It’s because we don’t want a leader who looks

Like Corleone henchman, Luca Brasi.

http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/dailyweekly/Luca%20Brasi%20150x120.jpeg