Homeless Superman

At a traffic light, with last-minute Christmas presents
On the passenger seat beside me, I saw Superman
On the sidewalk rummaging through a garbage can.

The only thing missing was a handmade sign
That said, "Will Save The World For Food."
Hair greasy, face unshaven

He was recognizable because on his chest
Was the unmistakable "S" logo.
Great Caesar's ghost! Where was Perry White?

Or Jimmy Olson and Lois Lane?
From the trash, Superman fished out the remains
Of a gingerbread blended coffee in a Starbucks cup

But didn't even try to warm it up with his x-ray vision.
This reality seemed unimaginable
But new media like the internet has put old media

On the endangered species list.
Maybe Clark Kent got laid off after foolishly
Not taking the first buyout offer

When The Daily Planet was sold.
(Low readership, one could argue, is the
Newspaper business' version of kryptonite.)

Clark started at the paper in 1938, which suggests
He once enjoyed the warm embrace of job security.
The Fortress Of Solitude was surely bought and paid for

But if his x-ray vision was kaput,
He probably couldn't fly and clearly
Didn't have plane fare.

Suddenly feeling heroic, I parked my car, leaped out
Started running and yanked open my white button-down shirt
Which billowed behind me like a cape

As I raced off to rescue the planet's most famous superhero
Who was heading towards a dumpster behind a supermarket.
I knew this wasn't really Lex Luthor's sworn enemy.

He was just a down and out guy wearing a t-shirt
That conveyed an irony that was totally lost on him
Which was appropriate since he was totally lost.

I didn't find him
Outside Whole Foods
Or on the surrounding streets.

Like the real Man Of Steal
Homeless Superman vanished
Faster than a speeding bullet.