Irony (Vol. #17)

By far the most presidential thing 
Mitt Romney's ever done
Is his having decided not to make
Another presidential run.

http://www.nytimes.com/…/mitt-romney-2016-presidential-elec…



 

Lindsay Lohan Felt Mingling With Her Fans Constituted Community Service

The only people who would
Ever try and do this
Are among the ranks of the
Colossally clueless.

It’s why we worship celebrities who
Will often seem so callow:
They offer glimpses into heretofore
Unknown depths of shallow.

http://apnews.myway.com/…/us--people-lindsay_lohan-954aba69…

 

A Few Thoughts About That Clint Eastwood-Bradley Cooper Collaboration

“American Sniper” ---
What the fuck.
A Chuck Norris movie
Without Chuck.

*

The Oscar controversy about Chris Kyle
May very well shift votes:
I suppose that one could blame this on
Some left wing swift boats.

But Republicans shouldn’t be complaining
About how this is playing dirty:
This is pretty much the same playbook that
They used on “Zero Dark Thirty.”

http://www.thewrap.com/american-sniper-complaints-grow-in-…/

Ohio Man Suspected In Planned Attack On U.S. Capitol

Terror charges? Yeah, sure
But there
Should also be ones about
His hair.

Was this photo taken on Ash Wednesday?
No, this depraved
Guy forgot that spot between his eyes he
Should’ve shaved.

Ship his sorry ass to Supermax prison
No ifs, ands or buts.
If he get ever gets out, then send him
Off to Supercuts.

http://www.usatoday.com/…/…/14/capitol-attack-isil/21770845

 

What Bill Cosby Probably Thought As He Watched Tina Fey & Amy Poehler Mock The Hell Out Of Him

“To disrespect me like that on live television
Wasn’t a difficult thing to do
But they wouldn’t have if I had slipped them
A roofie backstage in 1982.

OK, you little ladies had your little laugh during the
Last installment of the Golden Globes
But I dare you to visit me at my home where I’ve got
The pills for the people in my robes.”

http://www.theatlantic.com/…/golden-globes-cosby-jo…/384426/

 

A Few Thoughts About Paris

Cartoonists’ pens
Contain ink
And ideas that make
People think.

A few opposed to any
Manner of thinking
Recently were not in
Any way shrinking

From boldly deploying a
Kalashnikov
As a particularly violent
Way to solve

A certain problem but such
Events then
Will only unite more people
Against them.

http://i2.cdn.turner.com/…/150107191146-26-paris-reax-0107-…

 

Attention: Phylicia Rashad Who Claims Attacks On Her Innocent TV Hubby Are “Orchestrated”

Is it an accident you’re speaking up now
As he’s about to, if I remember
Correctly, do his first live concert tonight
Since one back in November?

His handlers are using you with their
Calculated orchestration
To divert our attention and change
The present conversation

Away from even more women coming forward who
Claim they’ve been in bad shape
Since the Dad America loved & trusted for so long
Felt they’d be fun to drug & rape.

The problem with linking yourself to this
Man who handed out pills is
Your legacy is now destined to be just as
Tainted forever as Bill’s is.

http://www.showbiz411.com/…/exclusive-bill-cosby-co-star-to…

 

Some Members Of The NYPD Insist On Turning Their Backs On Mayor de Blasio

All this shameless lack of respect for authority
That is now openly being expressed
Reminds me of similar behavior that cops revile
When young Black men resist arrest.

http://www.reuters.com/…/us-usa-police-idUSKBN0KD06A20150104

 

Curb Your Enthusiasm (Not The Series)

The Republicans begin their new era in charge of both
houses of Congress.

Alas, History --- that notorious gossip --- reminds us that
governing is something they’ve never been any good at.

*

We know how this story goes: they will
Without a trace of grace fall
On their faces and be about as good as
Michael Jordan was at baseball.

http://www.cbsnews.com/…/members-set-expectations-for-114t…/

 

A Fab Four Flashback

On December 31st, TCM aired a beloved Baby Boomer movie: “A
Hard Day’s Night.” I hadn’t seen it in decades and loved it. This time
out, however, I happened to discover something entirely new to me.

Paul’s grandfather was Wilfred Brambell
A “mixer” who easily can
Cause endless trouble. He frequently was
Called “a clean old man.”

To children in the early Sixties
Unconsciously, we did
Conclude no one in the world
Looked older than he did.

But here’s the really weird part
That you may doubt is true:
When Brambell made this movie
He was just fifty-two.

So, even though you’re getting on
In years, please don’t ignore
That you probably don’t look as old
As Brambell did in 1964.

http://static.guim.co.uk/…/pictures/2008/08/29/lennon460.jpg