My old pal, Jim Jensen, recently told me that for a while
the receptionist at the beauty parlor his wife went to was
... Lorena Bobbit.
Yeah,
that Lorena Bobbit.
I promised Jim I'd find the poem I wrote about her and
post it.
*
The Cutoff Point
While he was asleep, Lorena Bobbitt
Sliced off her husband’s penis, went
For a drive and then tossed it out the
Window like it was a flyer that she’d
Found under her windshield wiper
For teeth whitening or rug cleaning.
In court, Lorena claimed John Wayne
Bobbitt persistently denied her any
Orgasms. I’d hoped the fallout would
Be husbands with unsatisfied wives
Would overnight all become the most
Attentive lovers. No such luck.
*
“The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour” was on
Then. I sensed that Robert MacNeil hated
This story & desperately wanted no part
Of it. But the following year, 1993, when
The verdict in this case was finally going
To be announced, MacNeil had to mention
This because the Bobbits had found a way
To become legitimately newsworthy. He
Did the wrap-up on world events and then
Brought up the end of this controversial
Trial. I wondered exactly how he would
Convey all of the sordid details. The wall
Behind MacNeil now was suddenly like this
Enormous dam with multiple visible cracks
And water beginning to leak out. Still, he
Single-handedly attempted to keep it in
Place and prevent the coarsening of the
Culture and harm to all things decent and
Proper. “Lorena Bobbitt was found not
Guilty of ‘malicious wounding’ against
Her husband for severing his … payniss.”
MacNeil elected to mispronounce the
Offending word to make it seem genteel.
But the dam broke anyway as cable TV
And talk radio and O.J and Fox News and
The internet would soon wash away all of
The decorum that PBS and their flagship
News show had fondly cherished. Looking
Back, it was inevitable but I now can see
MacNeil bravely trying to stop the tide like
Some Canuck King Canute and despite my
Mockery back then, I now salute MacNeil
For giving it the old college try.
