Thursday, January 19, 2017

Mic Drop For Barack


I love how his opponents across the aisle have
Always thought victory was in reach
If they somehow provoked him so much that
He had to go out and give a speech.


The only problem with this cunning Republican
Plan is we are
Now aware he’s the best White House speaker
Since FDR.

But the vast majority of his detractors still
Remained strangely in the dark
As he rose to every speech-giving occasion
And hit it out of the park.

It’s as if people who hated Frank Sinatra decided
His destruction they could bring
About if they got him in front of an orchestra and
Then commanded him to sing.


 

Monday, January 16, 2017

Stuff Your School-age Kids Will Soon Need


The Pledge of Allegiance in Russian:

"Я клянусь в верности флагу Соединенных Штатов Америки и республике,
которую он символизирует, одной нации подБогом, неделимой, со свободой
и справедливостью для всех."



Tuesday, January 10, 2017

All You Need To Know About Trump's Nominee For Attorney General


Jefferson Beauregard Sessions --- that name alone
Makes you want to punch him in the face.
You know that growing up his family said “nigger”
Far more often than they ever said grace.




Monday, January 9, 2017

Trump's Favorite Words To Tweet


Win, winning, very, weak.
(Six syllables that make me shriek.)


We, they, politically correct.
(Used to evade and deflect.)

Moron, tough, dangerous, smart.
(Does Donald pick them a la carte?)

Bad, amazing, stupid, huge.
(His face reminds me of Scrooge.)

Tremendous, zero, lose, terrific.
(His knack is never being specific.)

Out of control, lightweight, classy.
(He’s a hood ornament without a chassis.)

 

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Kim Kardashian Speaks Out About Paris Robbery


I know how difficult her life is with all her millions
Behind the tinted windows of a limousine
But wasn't her being bound and gagged at gunpoint 
One of the few good things about 2016?






Sunday, January 1, 2017

South Carolina Lawmaker Heard On Phone Beating His Wife As Their Children Begged Him To Stop


In 2016, there was this pretty big story about
Chris Corley making the rounds
Concerning his fight to keep the Confederate
Flag flying on statehouse grounds.

(Corley also, it’s worth noting, in 2014 proved to be
Someone who openly runs
His mouth about how it’s wrong for domestic abusers
To not be able to buy guns.)

Let’s recap: “Alleged” wife beater, likely racist and Trump
Backer who never eats brie ---
This is the exactly kind of guy who in 2017 helps to define
The current state of the GOP.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Corley