Friday, November 30, 2012

Mysterious Super Pac Was Funded By Billionaire Behind Attacks On Kerry’s Vietnam War Service

Bob Perry tried to help races in North Dakota
And Montana at a cost
Of around $1 million --- in both of these cases,
The Republicans lost.

This would suggest Mr. Perry who
Had skill with Swift Boats
Was not so successful this time in
His attempts to shift votes.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Multi-Millionaire Romney Lunches With Obama At 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

I would bet the one thought that
Must’ve made Mitt sigh
Is the White House is the only house
In America he can't buy.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Thinking Outside The (TV) Box

Fire Angus T. Jones after
His unhinged crazy FU.
Hire Charlie Sheen back
To play his own nephew.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Breezy Point In Queens Was Victimized First By Hurricane Sandy, Now By Looters

When I heard they stole kids’ piggy banks
I said to myself, “Man, this
Is so low you’d have to try really hard to
Get any lower than this.”

Locals are livid and won’t take it lying down.
I saw this defiant attitude begin
With a home that has a new sign on its door:
“I'm here and armed. Come on in.”

Friday, November 23, 2012

Whenever I See Photographs Of John McCain & Lindsay Graham

The former seems like an aging lion who’s
Been feisty his entire life:
The latter looks like his long-suffering and
Plain but very loyal wife.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Romney Adviser Says Right Wing Polling Faces A “Systemic Crisis”

This isn’t rocket science: they
So badly wanted Mitt to win
That they never met a statistic
They weren’t happy to spin.

This may be stating the obvious and is a
Point that I don’t really mean to flog
But I’m pretty sure that Republicans are
Allowed to read Nate Silver’s blog.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

End Of The Road For Allen West

The Tea Party favorite (finally) conceded:
His limelight ends, his moment passes.
He said he now wants to spend more time
Avoiding anger management classes.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

The Hollywood Reporter Comes Clean About Its Involvement In The Blacklist

If this were going on today, people wouldn’t
Be playing the same games:
Folks would be lining up in order to be the
Very first to name names.

Fights would break out outside hearings:
Many people will have flown
Great distances on their own dime just to
Drop a dime on Oliver Stone.

(Does that seem insensitive, cruel and unfair?
Not really to avoid the ravages
Of having to sit through absolute junk like
Stone’s latest flop, “Savages.”)

The Wachowskis? See ya! Larry-Lana came
Under the spell of a dominatrix:
They get no love from me because I sat through
The third installment of “The Matrix.”

Everyone can happily join in and pile on ---
Hollywood won’t need to lick its
Wounds about blacklisting: so many people
Will show up, they can sell tickets.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Thoughts On The Possible Demise Of a Snack Food

San Francisco Supervisor Dan White
In 1978 was filled with rage
And into modern political history
Was able to write his own page.

He shot & killed Mayor George Moscone
And just a few minutes later that day
Did the very same thing to Harvey Milk
A supervisor who was openly gay.

White’s lawyers blamed it partly on junk food
And to the jury did boldly commence
To ask them to seriously consider what has
Become known as the “Twinkie Defense.”

White’s conviction was on a lesser charge
Which many people continue to agree
Was inappropriate because it was clear what
Happened was murder in the first degree.

If Twinkies hadn’t been selected, would
Jurors have been as quick on the uptake
To embrace a defense based on Ding Dongs,
Sno Balls or even a Hostess Cupcake?

Friday, November 16, 2012

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Second U.S. General Sent Thousands Of Inappropriate Emails To Woman Linked To Petraeus Scandal

What emoticons are best to use when you’re
Getting flirty online so much with
A woman who isn’t your wife? John Allen is
Who you should get in touch with.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Why The GOP Is Obsessed With That Embassy Attack In Libya

Can’t figure it out? This is understandable
But don’t worry --- perhaps a light oughta
Go over your head when I say they think
Benghazi in English means “Whitewater.”

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Why Romney Lost (Vol. #17)

If this were football, what Mitt had
Been doing ad hoc
Is holding onto the ball and trying to
Run out the clock.

This time-tested strategy can often work
But what should be said
Is don’t run out the clock if you’re behind
Only if you’re ahead.

With Romney’s Loss, Right Wing Loon Victoria Jackson Tweets That Our Country Is No Longer Living

Honey, take a closer look:
What’s clear is
America’s not dead but
Your career is.

Obama Loses First Debate, Still Wins Second Term

It is more than appropriate
On this particular date
To ride into the sunset & say
“Hi-yo, Silver (Nate.)”

Thursday, November 1, 2012

If Obama’s Handling Of Hurricane Sandy Keeps Helping Him Until Election Day

Just as the Saxons
Despised the Normans
This will prove that
God hates Mormons.